In A Night When Her Sorrow Resounds Around

"It's simply beautiful."

Maybe it's not to everyone's tastes, but I think it's quite nice..

If sad.

And you know me.

Sadddddness is obviously what I feed on.

Om. Nom. Nom. Nom. Nom.

Nyom.

Nyah.

Um.... yea, something I needed to say, but I can't remember.

Goodnight.

Hoping you guys have a nice weekend, mm?

Move! Schnell! Raus! Raus!

"Nngh..."

Well, ok.

So I'm basically rushing to get my ubersaw done.

Which, if I had more time, I'd actually try to find my PVA glue.

But I don't.

So crappy office glue will do.

And now to attach a vial of seemingly bloody liquid to it, and I should be done.

Oh and a nail that's meant to be the needle.

Hoping you're having fun making it too.

Been so long....

"So nice to see you."

I don't remember what that's from.

Wasn't kidding about bottling it up, I just don't feel ready yet, I guess.

Funny how the only person who truly understands me won't talk to me.

*sigh*

What to do.

Ah well.

Friday you say?

I think so too.

Hoping you guys have fun with your cardboard. I know I will be.

Wondering if I should have written "Archimedes" for my source on the problems with cosmetics

"Chem....Hmm... No time?"

Yea... they did something weird, and we didn't have time and...

I had a wall of text for every page except for the last page.

And for investigation B, they didn't say they washed it.

Ie; the reaction didn't take place.

Then they say the reaction took place.

Shoddy practices.

I wish they gave us more time.

Time to study physics.

M+G hm?

See you on the other side, I suppose.

Morning Pre Chem Test feelings..........

"Archimedes! No!"

I don't think I'll ever be ready for chem. It's a lot of memorising, and I know the key points, just the finer details may be a bit dodgy. TBH though, I should be fine.

I hope so anyway.

Unless they ask bullshit questions about something no-one's researched. Oh well.

Nuclear I know.

Chem of Art, I don't know so well.

But. It'll work.

So in short, I'm anxious about the test, because I'm not sure if I know enough.

But I probably do.

I don't want to do the test. But I have to.

But as soon as Friday rolls around, everything's open. Really.

EVERYTHING.

Believe it.

So I just need to get through this test, and the next 5.... wait. 4. 2Unit doesn't count.

A quick note on the song for this post; I wish I could play clarinet like that. Oh wait. Maybe I can try. Eh, later.

`It's a very emotional piece.

And so is 4U english.

I'm ready for all of the Maths tests, English..... That's it.

Why am I not ready for Phys and Chem?

Phys because I don't have the stuff printed out.

I hate research tasks...sigh.

Because when you think you know enough, there's more to know.

Oh well.

Hoping I do well.

The best praise one can give, is the praise of another's character.

"For whose sake does my bell ring? For whose sake does my blood flow?" - Oath Allegiance

I got a rather...well. Completely unexpected...portion? Of praise from a certain Psychic Brown.

And, it makes me wonder whether I'm a good person, a bad person, a jealous person.

"Fraught with tempestuous jealousy"

"La Douce Odeur De La Jalousie"

There was a writing exercise today. Yucky. Somehow, that has become a part of my lexicon. But it suits me. So I shall continue using it. It is, in a way, a new idiosyncrasy.

And Cathedral. I wish I could draw. Why is it that I can't?

Asyndeton. What is it?

Asyndeton - The omission or absence of a conjunction between parts of a sentence.

Perhaps I should tell Tea-English-Study-Partner that her use of the term is actually rather incorrect.

It's Greek. Did you know that?

Why am I thinking like this?

It's not like me, is it?

Who am I?

Perhaps I'm the robot people seem to see.

The new bag I have is stable, but also very uncomfortable. It is off balance, it has no one point of centre.

But I'll get used to it.

Both Tea-Study-Partner and Brown told me I have a natural talent for English.

Do I? I don't have the marks to reflect it.

I'm told I have a natural talent for Maths. But the marks don't reflect that.

I'm good at Physics. Where's the marks to back up that compliment?

Chemistry. Biology. Where?

Sometimes I wonder how people can write poetry. It is tough.

I haven't blogged in days, and what happens. The most tumultuous days of my life occur in this week.

Why?

I give up a lot of things, and instead, other parts of my life become complex.

It is indeed a wonderful life, but again, incredibly complex.

I have come to realise that one can never be honest unless they are an impossibly pure person.

And in comparison to the person I care the most about, I'm a very bad person.

When did I become like this?

When I'm asked a question, I wonder whether I should tell the truth, or lie. It's come to a point where lying seems like a better solution because that way, everyone is happy.

If everyone is happy, then the guilt I feel is negligible.

She told me that I'm weak; I want everyone to be happy, and that's impossible.

I was told by a good friend that I rely a lot on tone, and gesture. Perhaps....

I could turn this post into something good later.

Don't you dare say that it's angst.

Preempting any other response...

Writing is an exercise for relief of emotion.

It is nice to know that later, you can re-read it, and wonder how you've grown as a person.

"The day you stop growing is the day that you die."

"Neku, think about what's the most important thing to you, and then answer."

I got her angry, and then, I didn't know what to do.

Despite it all, I never know what to do.

Why do people think I'm a natural leader; I'm a poor leader.

Why is it that when I don't know, others have the answer for me.

And why is it that I can never accept their answer?

I'm rather calm right now; it's not hot, it's just warm.

Funny. I have a friend who goes by the name of Calms.

He's a Spy.

I have not played against Traitor for a while now. Last time I played, I wasn't a 77 Hour Soldier.

I wonder if he's still wielding "The Julia Gillard"

Perhaps he is. But if he is, I want to see how good he is now.

It's gotten to the point where it's a rivalry, but at the same time, it's not any challenge. Trump him in Maths, Chemistry, and English, though I'm guessing about English. Maths, I'm 100% confident that I have already.

So where does that leave me.

I wonder where the Year 8 days went, and I wonder what would have happened if I kept to myself.

Perhaps things would have turned out differently for the better.

I regret everything I've done in my life, but I can't change it.

And then I remember.

"If you can't change your fate, change your attitude."

And then, I think, why don't I play with an attitude of killing everything.

Why?

Kael, do you look forward to every game, and play with an attitude of "I'm going to crush them, whoever I'm playing?"

You have no time to size up your opponent, just to play the best that you can.

It's the same with TF2.

Neku, get a life.

But, this is my life.

I'm going to leave up this post for a while, I think.

Winterrowd-Teach used to ask me "Do you have a photographic memory, Neku?"

And I would say "I don't know. Maybe."

Now, I think what she thought was a photographic memory was in-fact just my retention of important details. Chances are, if I don't think it's important, I will have forgotten it the next day.

I can give you, with detail, the layout of the Women's College, and we can check it with the blueprints.

But I can't tell you exactly what you had for lunch yesterday.

Maybe that, combined with some sort of "good observational skill" is what makes me, me.

And perhaps that's how I learn concepts quickly.

I'm experimenting with an extrapolation of concepts from an story which will allow one to edit it, and change it in ways that will make it a tighter story. It reminds me of electronics, cooking and deck building.

The challenge is to find a way to beat an obstacle, given limited resources.

It's not good enough to deal with a problem by running away. I think I do it too much.

"Sympathy is not merely "to suffer" with someone; it is to take their life, and make it your own, for a minute, an hour, a year."

I don't think there's anything else I need to say, is there?

Goodnight.

Hoping you think about my life, and see how it applies to yours.

One day without TF2, instead with work?

"Parable of Wolf and Owl"

I spent the day listening to this interesting tune. And tbh, if it didn't have the random screaming, it would be very very good. I dunno why the female vocal doesn't just quit <_<

But ok.

Here it is.

Had a nightmare, as usual, it's not really anything too important though.

But I suppose nightmares can be warnings, as per usual.

TBH, I think two songs back to back, one of Bishamonten, and the other of one of those Taoist zombies may have contributed to the nightmare.

Maybe.

In any case, there's a lot of work we need to do, hmm?

And funnily enough, Tofu, a 200hr sniper keeps telling me I need to work.

She's right.

Which is how/why I didn't actually play last night.

I was going to, but I kept putting it off with work.

Anyway. I don't see why you'd have reason to hate or be angry with anything. Annoyed, perhaps, but.......

Anger is just so inefficient.

Anyway. I'm not really feeling that great, so this shall be the post till I decide to write something better.

Hoping everyone is having such fun.

Ack.

"I do not know which is worse. Looking to find that a dear friend has been waiting all their life, or not looking at all."

Yes. I thought of that just now.

I feel really guilty.

Hoping you guys see what I see?

Prediction

"Finally got my training maps to work."

So right now, I got my training maps to work, probably played 2 hours of TF2, but that's ok, cause now I'm doing work, and there's no morning class tomorrow, so I can sleep at 10.

And ummmm........

I'm set for tomorrow, really.

Got a massive headache from all the rocketing.

Like, with the Direct Hit, people can jump over your rockets. Which means you have to aim at their feet. Literally. At their feet.

Then they get launched skyward, and you can pick them off with a nice minicrit.

Anyway, that's my day.

How was yours?

Hoping yours was more productive, I suppose.

4 A Day? Weekly? Who knows.

"Take your time, but be quick about it" - Calms

There's something a friend of mine told me a few days ago.

And here's the follow up:

"Realistically, you'll come to a point where you can do it faster and faster, and eventually, it'll seem like the world comes to a stop waiting for you to get that headshot on the guy =D"

You can work out what's going on.

As for blog posting, I don't really care that much; not like anyone really wants to read this, so yes.

And talking Vitamins and Osteo- with a physio, is quite the fun.

Someone tell me the definitive difference between Osteomalacia, and Osteoporosis?

First one is otherwise known as Rickets in children, but but, can appear in Adults, and is all about bone formation, and low levels of Vit D for Ca. Absorption.

But but, Osteoporosis can be caused by the same thing, which leads to bone density decreasing, more fractures, etc. etc.

It's not all that different though.

But as Gill says "Osteoporosis is multifactorial"

Ho yes. "Multifactorial"

A bit like this: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which is rather apt.

So drink enough milk, and eat your veggies.

......... I think I'll stick to meat and milk though.

Hoping you guys do?