Cadavers!

I was actually expecting younger cadavers, with full bodies, but I suppose they're in really short supply. Probably cause they tend to be either buried or have their organs cut out for transplants and such.

I'm finding the lectures interesting in a sort of... means justifies the ends way. I think it's kinda bad.

I don't really have a passion for it when I'm just semi-actively learning it. It's only later in discussions I care I suppose.

Biochemistry and Histology. Proteins and tissues. I'm doing so much bio... I suppose it makes up for not doing it in HSC.

There's two assignments and one written exam every course, including what they call a "reflective essay".

I'm managing to integrate it into my blog, thankfully though. And I suppose you guys might be slightly interested in what happens in the upper campus.

Tomorrow's just a practical and it's in... Biology?

I think that's lower campus. Can someone guide me around there? :o

The reflective essay is about the first week of med...hmm. It should be fairly interesting, huh.... I'll get round to writing a quick draft on the weekend I think.

There's an assignment which is researching Peter Doherty. Apparently there's some really advanced science involved. I wonder what it'll be like. He's an immunologist who's still alive today, haha.

ISS Staffie applications due tomorrow at midnight D:

Does anyone else want to read it before I send it in?

Cadavers. I guess they were anatomically perfect within bounds of normality but...

So old D:

And the risk of contamination is incredibly high in those labs. I'm going to assume from now on that everything is contaminated in a mixture of decaying biological matter, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol and methanol. (Had to check up the second one)

And we're learning so much anatomy :o Bones...muscles...joints...systems.

What the. One of my folders...oh. It's not missing, it's on the table behind me.

I bought a lab coat, but if anyone wants to wear it for kicks, it's at your risk. It could be contaminated. I'm going to pretend it is except when it's freshly washed.

Latex gloves are really fun.

I think the only thing I regret from this prac was that I didn't take down more notes, but that can be rectified later. It'll be a little more effort, I suppose.

Otherwise reasonably fine.

I'm not sure why or how Tuna insists that even in Med I'll have time to game and socialise and get drunk and all that stuff.

Though, he's taking time off gaming as I speak...sooooo.

Anyway, he's in RMIT doing a Music-related degree that I kinda forgot.

For anyone who is mildly affected, I've rescheduled so Fridays don't have students.

Hoping you guys are having lotsa fun times.

More lectures

Unfortunately, I can't say that I would have changed how I did anything today.

Met a few more people from my scenario group, which was fun.

Had pho for $8, which is apparently relatively cheap, all things considered, which is nice too.

Lectures were a little intense and a little boring. Cell biology (Histology...ish) and Anatomy. Just took notes... maybe next time I'll have more to eat for breakfast. Like tomorrow, cause I've got a 9am start, again.

Then there was a anatomical pathology practical... and I need a lab coat for next week.

Basically, virtual microscopy. Which is kinda weird, but makes sense cause unless we/I go into research or pathology, we're not going to use microscopes much. Basically, it's a simplification of microscopy onto a database, which houses all these images and think google maps, basically.

I didn't pay much attention, but I got the basics down.

We saw Cirrhosis of the liver and Pancreatic cancer with a Dr. Kumar who has an excellent British accent.

Anyway, I think that's all I need to talk about.

Hoping you guys are also doing weirdly fun things.

Oh. Cadavers soon!

Self reflecting on self reflexivity about self reflection

So apparently I need to reflect on what happens in the med course and then present it later as part of my portfolio, lol

I figured I might as well tie it into blogging, which makes it easier, I guess.

Anyway... lectures were pretty boring, haha.

They were just introductory and kinda hard not to fall asleep.

I should bring something quiet and reasonably undistracting to do. Maybe fixing up my timetable or something.

Looking in my diary for notes about today.

Found some music while I type this up. Not particularly distracting.

I didn't bring my program guide cause I thought it was unnecessary, haha.

Concept mapping tutorial was pretty bland. I got to meet people in my scenario group, which was pretty fun.

I learned that gym membership is free for the first month, but then it's like..$600+ for a year. Which comes to about $2 a day, and thus, per fortnight is $24. Which is kinda horrid.

I guess I'll tell my father about it - he told me that it would be cheap, lol.

He's an alumni.

Anyway, the concept mapping... I think what I would do next time is try to talk more with my group. I think I'm pretty shy - I have to try to make conversation with new people and it's a little uncomfortable. I suppose after 6 years I'll be a Legendary Conversationalist.

Oh, and the lectures told me that I'd be a specialist in 2031. Like, finishing. Soo... another lifetime (literally) for me.

Aha.

Apparently the perks later will be worth it, but the thing that concerns me the most is how financially nonindependent I'll be in these few years.

I found someone with a better rate than me for tutoring. He's doing tutoring for years 7 to 10, and it's taking about $10 more per one on one session, and says that if it's a class of 4 or so, he gets $110. Which is pretty good. I have a feeling that I'll have to hold classes, but right now I don't have a good set besides their house and libraries venue, and different people have different needs.

By the way, libraries close really early on weekends. It sucks.

Scenario groups.

I was a little late cause of lunch with Dandelion (forever now known as Dande cause I think it's cool) and Icy Foliage but I just said I got lost. Which I did, a little.

I think it was more to get to know the group more than anything. Something that came into my head was that I shouldn't try to answer every question asked. Lol. Maybe I talk too much when I'm comfortable and not enough when I'm not.

Oh well, 6 years, Legendary Conversationalist.

Computer lab on data retrieval and information gathering.

Somewhat dreary. But I did talk a bit with Fiona Li and Jeffery Liu are in my group. For people who aren't in the know, Fiona left in year 10 for Ruse and miraculously, somehow still knows who I am. I..have no idea how. I didn't realise I made any sort of impression on her.

As for Jeffery, he graduated in 2011, and did optom in UNSW for a year before 'restarting' as he calls it and is now in a bonded place for UNSW med. Which is pretty cool. He got an offer for UWS and UNewcastle too, but who wants to go there? They were both bonded, I believe.

I think everyone looks intimidating and unapproachable to me if they're in a position of equal standing. If I'm in a a Privileged Position, then I'm a lot more comfortable. I think it's just my conceited nature. It's a little... unnerving. I think I think that I'm superior to a lot of people in some way or another, until I talk to them and vice versa. Then that delusion melts away, thankfully.

Can't touch this!

Speaking of which, Ravnica was my favourite block of all time, and now it's back and ooh the new set's really pretty and I should get back into MTG again. Which I will, once I figure out how I'm going to get to Friday Night Magic at my local cardgame store. BUT I WILL DO IT.

[/fanboy]

...lost my train of thought.

Oh yes, I'm talking to Icy about it - religion and basically how religion fits into politics.

My answer? It doesn't.

I overheard two guys talking about 'spreading the word' of the Bible and such. A really snide thought crossed my mind:

"What if they're a gay couple?"

But then I remembered that not all Christians are against that kinda thing.

But what really made me think (unfortunately this is not related very much to medicine until I get into Sexual Health Medicine) is that they are trying so hard to come up with ways to preach their religion...without it seeming like preaching. Which was kinda ironic, and made me feel superior again (I'm such a bad person).

I was just about to turn around and talk to them about it when I decided that I shouldn't cause that would be rude.

Anyway, the main thought was "Why does religion need to be spread by its followers?"

I was discussing a similar topic with my role model and practically life mentor, who I call Tuna, or Uncle Tuna and it was basically about Michel Foucault and after reading Tuna's paper on Foucault, I told him that what Foucault was on about is that knowledge must be self-propagating. The current generation must teach the following generation in order for knowledge to grow and sustain itself.

And that is very much true of science. Science stops if it there is no-one to teach it.

[By the way, a bit of background on my dear mentor, he's gay (ie; homosexual, but he's also pretty happy about it too) and pretty damn left-wing. He dislikes the entity of science for a few reasons, most notably of its underlying aims to first and foremost spread itself and maintain its presence. Also that science can't prove anything, and yet there is an entire society of misconception or at least corruption of the word "proof", in the context of everyday usage of the phrase "scientific proof". In the context of science and research it's ok, because it's assumed that "proof" is something that can be counterpointed later in the future with different evidence/research that's peer reviewed. The public seem to think that it's a football game and that science is lying to people. So... in essence it's a gripe with how language is used, but language is pretty important.

Tl;dr, I have an awesome role model, and science is hard to explain to laypeople.]

And yes, I did talk about him when UNSW asked me about my role models.

Back to the beaten track... my main point was how come if religion - and again, I'm talking specifically about Christianity/Catholicism - proclaims to have a singular Truth (with a capital T) then why does it require its followers to 'educate' other people about it.?

I'm probably striking a logical fallacy somewhere in that, or someone is going to tell me that I'm twisting words, but unless someone does, I'll stand by my ideas.

And as an aside, if you look at the John Howard government, one particular gripe is that they banned the teaching of Postmodernism in schools. At least, formally teaching it. Almost all contemporary literature has postmodern elements and someone who does not have any education about education and particularly about education of literature (see entry for John Howard) would not be able to pick it up.

(Apart from being a bad person, I'm probably hot blooded. Which...may explain why I like cold environments? :] )

And postmodernism goes against Christian teachings, which are pretty ingrained in politics at the current moment, and probably will be as long as Western society remains exactly that. Western.

Which is to say that they Church and Pope have way too much power. And way too much of a Privileged Position.

Again, being ignorant, I make little effort to distinguish the Vatican from everything else, from Christians, from Catholics. They're all in the gray limbo I call "religion" along with other gods, pantheons and everything else.

Shinto and such that I respect a slight bit more go into "supernatural beliefs that are also amusing and have beautiful lore".

That includes horoscopes and astrology, if you're wondering.

Back to the very first thesis - I don't believe that religion should need to be 'spread' by mere mortals if it is the Truth. I mean... if you believe in a singular Truth, then that Truth will eventually be uncovered, no matter what angle you're looking at.

The fact that we have no agreed as a race on a singular Truth means it's either elusive or doesn't exist. I like to think it doesn't exist and that we all hold truths about the world and each other, and that each truth is as "true" and "real" as the next.

Getting more juice.

[Btw, there's a Secular Society on UNSW that I'm not willing to join because I don't have the time and it seems kinda unappealing to me who doesn't have the time for hardcore culturo-political philosophy. Heh. SecSoc.]

Anyway guys, I've got more sugar. Are you proud?

[And Dande, if your brain's dying, just give it a rest and comment later :P]

I believe that's it.

Dare you to click on it :)

If anyone's wondering.... here's what it's based on, and that you'll recognise.

Anyway, it's beautiful :)

Hoping you guys are having lots of fun in uni and are less busy that me :(

OWeek and...things.

Y'now when you have something you probably should give up, but it's so close to you that it's hard to?

So far, I've got 3 friendships that feel that way, and... I dunno.

When there's time away from them, I know I probably should give them up. Cause they're not all that positive, etc.

Or inspiring, other than..negatively...inspiring? Haha.

I'll probably stop caring in a week. Is that bad? It's probably bad. Bad on the scale of 1 to bad.

delete12 said...

tapping my mountains, get shoked and fireballed for 2 hit points all day every day

then i ping you with lobber crews

Actually, I was trying to explain something about M+G the other day, and inadvertently wrote MTG.

And I'm pretty excited about the new sets, and actually having money to spend on the game. It should be cool in uni. There's probably a gameshop around the corner somewhere in Kensington. Though I haven't seen it yet.

I think I'm giving up on competitive TF2. Which is a bit of a shame but I don't think I have that kind of time anymore. Maybe I'm just not good enough with time to be a professional level gamer. And that's ok too.

Upgrading my computer, and I'm sourcing parts but father says to wait - he's compiling a list of cheap parts or something like that. I actually burnt out my PSU for my desktop, so I'm on a laptop.

And I need to get a graphics card too for the desktop.

icedtrees said...

I made my first lesson free so it made more sense

I was going to do that, and then my parents were like "Hell no. Don't do that."

So I just took a little bit of a discount. And now my parents are like "Ehhh.... you shouldn't have done that, but now you know better."

From the looks of it, this one girl's mother is going to want me to tutor everything for the next 2 years. Which is kinda cool.

4Math, 3Eng, Phys, Chem. That's like... I dunno. At a quick estimate, $14000+ over 2 years depending on how I price individual subjects and such.

Unless I did my math wrong.

Being underpaid sucks :( My mother was telling me about how one of her colleagues has a daughter that's getting tutoring for $20/hr. And then she told me that last year, she said her daughter was going to $50/hr tutoring. We both think that colleague is lying because the thing that changed was my availability as a tutorage person thing. And therefore, it's like a social..status...thing. Kinda like "haha, I'm richer." and then later, "Welp, if your son wants to tutor my daughter, he'll have to do it for $20/hr".

Screw that ==" $20 is so little. Apparently, big companies would pay $21/hr minimum.

Totally what I'm doing to my students

I should sign up for ISS2013 Staffies, but I'm just so lazy. I need to write a cover letter, and spruce up my resume. Haha.

I wonder who else is signing up?

Aereas said...

transhumanism shouldn't start from technology but rather the mind, a way of thinking, a perspective to realise our human limitations and first improve ourselves through what we have first rather than relying on things to come.

well, that's me anyway.

so yeah, humans aren't ready for immortality. but i'm sure transhumans will.

So basically....

You will be assimilated.

Just kidding.

Here's a reply that you might feel interesting. I have a little more faith in humanity, but science will help with a lot of problems.

I think this might be cooler, but it's definitely fantasy.

I think this might be a more accurate representation of a fusion between humanity and artifice. It's definitely more artistic and such.

"7. "What if life's just one big ball of regret, and that whatever you do, you're always going to regret it?"

I love this"

I'm not sure why you like it, but I'm glad you do (...? Ahaha.)

I'm considering applying for 2 casual positions. I wonder if I'll have enough time.

[Yes, I'm aware it's all out of any kind of organisation, but it's a blog - I'll just space it out enough and it should be ok]

"Also, I still think all people are good, despite all of that. Be nice to people, because you have felt exactly the same things as them one point in your life.

It's hard to have empathy for people who you can't relate to. But that's okay."

I'm probably going to meet a lot of alcoholics, HIV patients, transplant patients and drug addicts. I wonder if I'll be able to empathise with them. I hope I can.

"Not sure why people would be annoyed at you for forgetting small things. If they’re small, then it doesn’t really matter if you don’t remember them."

Well, this friend makes a big deal about it. I think one other person I know does that too. It's kinda stressful. 

"I always thought friendships shouldn’t been given up. I’m not so sure anymore. Or maybe I was just thinking how everyone should be loved. I would try to love everyone, but I’m pretty sure I’m not loving enough to be able to do that.
Reminds me of one of those Jodi Picoult quotes I saw before, “I wondered what happened when you offered yourself to someone, and they opened you, only to discover you were not the gift they expected and they had to smile and nod and say thank you all the same.”

Are there even such things as endings? Time will keep on going. New things will keep on happening."

I think everyone should be loved, but some people are just..hard to love. It's a fine balance to find I think...

Jodi Picoult's books have a type of cover reminiscent of Bryce Courtney. Which is cool, considering how many Fifty Shades of Grey copies/imitations there are. I even saw "Fifty Shades of Hay" which goes along the same theme...just set on farm(s).

Eurgh. I feel dirty just thinking about it.

"I also don’t understand why people might have to swear and scream/yell at someone for them to finally understand that the person is angry. That shouldn’t have to happen. But it does…"

I think eventually my language can get to the point where it's just plain cryptic, but doesn't feel that way to me. It's just confusing.

There are however times where I just say things in a certain way because it's a joke, but most people can tell that apart. For the most part though, I don't think I get angry.

Anyway, I'll be at uni from 9 to 11 tomorrow, at least.

Hoping to see whoever, there.

Tutoring

I'm actually tutoring an accelerated Physics girl atm. Which is kinda cool, except that she goes to a Catholic, co-ed private school.

The point is not the religiosity [that's actually a word?] but the fact that in this particular instance, the teacher's really disorganised.

It's pretty fun teaching her, just that her mother's a little...stingy?

It's a bit annoying.

I don't want to be having a discount every week. I should explain.

Normally I charge $X per hour, usually under the presumption it's a 1 hour weekly service,  and so on.

First lesson with this student, I go 1/2 an hour overtime, and then decide, screw it, $X times 1.5, minus $5 is ok.

I get home, and her mother [who's paying me] tells me that 1.5 hours next week for that reduced fee is ok.

And I'm like "........Nooo it's not ok..."

But I dunno how to tell her that. I mean, I don't want to offend her or anything. Hrmm..

I mean, I charged less because it's the first lesson and less is being taught. I swear - next time I might as well charge the full fee. :(

I'm thinking of calling tomorrow and explaining that it's the first lesson, etc. etc. and that I don't give discounts and it's a pretty good rate, etc.

Sigh, problems.

Year 12 physics... feels weird to be doing it again.

Especially M+G. Remember that?

Her exam's in March. Soo...kinda annoying.

Hoping you guys might be able to help.

Fingers to keyboard (?)

Sometimes it's kinda hard to talk about certain things, and it feels kinda...weird to actually use pen and paper.

Like, it's sort of...rough? I feels different and not quite...fast enough I suppose.

Which is kinda bad, because then my handwriting speed's never going to get better.

And there are written exams in uni huh. Sigh.

Anyway, I'm coming to the conclusion that a lot of people get annoyed at me when I forget really small things they've told me before.

I get annoyed too when people forget things, but usually it's within a small timeframe - ie; something I taught them a week ago, or something I told them a few hours ago.

Not something I told them months ago.

I guess it's a small gripe, but it's really...irritating when people hold it against me.

I think there are only a few times I get angry, and either it's with people I love, or about conservative dogma, or just blatant injustice.

There's one person, and I have half a mind to never talk to them again.

But I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do.

I guess I'm always of two minds on anything, and it's...

Well, it's frustrating to say the least. Annoying's another.

I can understand the other side, but it doesn't make anything easier - it just makes it harder.

Sometimes I really wonder if some friendships just need to be given up.

[I don't like endings.]

What if life's just one big ball of regret, and that whatever you do, you're always going to regret it?

I dunno - I wonder about that and my own life, and it seems quite true, but that might be because I don't have the confidence to believe in my choices.

(inb4 great wall of Angst)

In a way, I think it must be nice to have that faith in your life.

Perhaps I'm too attached to somethings, even when they're bad for me.

Is it possible to be addicted to things that may have only been a figment of your imagination?

Also, completely unrelated (again), I noticed that whenever I'm angry, my language tends to become increasingly verbose. Which is kinda bad because some people might not understand, and that leads to one of two reactions. 1) I get angrier or 2) I sniff disdainfully, knowing (for certain, of course) that I have the moral and intellectual upperhand.

I feel like such a jerk either way.

Which is why I hate getting angry.

Sometimes though, the only way to get people to understand is if I start swearing. But that makes me feel like the lowest person there is. It probably shouldn't, but it does.

On another note, it's apparently been shown that venting anger via screaming/punching/etc. is cathartic, however it only reinforces aggressive behaviors.

Basically, venting rewards aggressive behaviors as "good", under the premise that you "won't do it to a real person, animal, robot, cyborg, etc."

But positive reinforcement is still reinforcement.

Which is of little consequence to me as I didn't vent anyway, but just fyi.

Another thing is probably that Allan Pease was right.

I believe there's a comment on that video that I need to reply to. Dang it - I forgot. ("No big surprise")

Also, if you haven't seen me on TF2, it's because I don't really have the passion for it right now. Perhaps not anymore. It's starting to become a point of sadness and frustration for me, and so is Dota (as expected).

Perhaps sometime I'll give up gaming altogether and do something "more worthwhile".

They say that you only remember the good moments, and the bad moments not so much, but it kinda seems as though I'm wired differently. Sure I remember the good bits, but the bad bits stand out so much more.

Like, because of certain circumstances, I now have a very strong bias against Texans, and for that matter, Americans in general. It makes me feel like an ass, again.

[For that matter, there are many, many flaws in American society, and that doesn't really help my perception of it.]

tl;dr, I'm a bad person, but I don't think you guys seem to actually care.

Which is a little confusing, because I don't think your judgments are wrong either. Which means I'm a good person, who believes their bad?

Or a bad person, who no-one sees as bad and thus is believed to be good?

Or a good person, who insists they're bad, but then realises that these are flexible terms which align towards society's morals and thus should not be used because they're stupid, and that instead, they should label themselves as stupid.

And then proceed to be outraged when they are indeed called stupid by others.

I kinda have a feeling I'll be a terrible doctor.

Like, if I have a really hard time letting go of silly, small things, and people who probably don't matter (but still want to hang onto them anyway), then how am I ever going to get over the death of a patient?

And what if I find out that my passion is paediatric neurosurgery?

:(

Or paediatric cardiosurgery?

Sigh. Parents say that "you get over it" and you just "learn to act professionally".

I wonder if I ever will learn that.

It seems as though I won't ever "grow up" or have a "maturity".

The worst part is that I imagine an opposite end.

That after a while, I just stop caring, and I "do my best", as accurately as I can and if something goes wrong, it's probably not my fault, etc.

I'm not sure how other people do it. Especially in other areas.

Maybe if transhumanism becomes a reality, I won't have to care about all this.

But then would life really be worth living?








[PS. This is probably way too long. I'll go to bed now. I was going to say one other thing... Whatever, I'll write about it some other time. Wow, it's 11:30.]

Night of Firsts (?)

"My daughter likes black people... only because of their big hair" - Auntie

"You mean.. the massive hair...?" *gestures* - Me

"Yes, exactly!"

- A discourse on tradition meets modernity at a Chinese Banquet in a Western society

Of course, that was all in mandarin.

It was pretty fun, ate some nice stuff.

I might have pictures later - it was my niece's (first removed, I believe) 100th...day..alive. Yea.

She's really small. And she had those jade bangles and bracelets and whatnot.

Those are cool too.

It was a pippies for entree (I think that's how you spell it), and then a platter of various things including abalone, pork ribs in that sauce and then red bean...soup(?) for dessert, with fruit.

Father says that you should never eat fried rice in restaurants, cause they get the rice leftovers from someone else and then cook it up for you.

Also, the same thing with reusing fruit.

And, lots of discussion about who's doing what and when and how fat and how pretty, etc.

Just your usual asian dinner..feast...celebration...thing.

Oh and lots of tea.

Tea's really good.

Oh and red packets from Chinese New Year I guess.

Hoping you guys are having fun.

Blood Tests

"HIV?"

Had the blood test yesterday, but I forgot to ask them to include my blood type in the results :<

I get the results on Friday and I'm not sure when I can remove this little bandaid on my left arm.

Also, I'm not sure if they'll let me know about my HIV status - something I probably should have asked too.

Mostly because I need to let the faculty know if I have that.

Further, I dunno which hospital to pick - there's St. Vincent, St. George, Price of Wales and Liverpool.

:<

They all seem kinda hard to get to.

Met a nice lady - 31 and she's in the robotics business.

Apparently, "designing an AI that thinks about butts all day so it can help fit women's jeans"

I was pretty skeptical too.

But apparently it's true, and I think it's pretty cool, even after a few "butt bot" jokes.

Who knew someone would actually design that?

Only problem is that she doesn't have any startup funding at the moment, which is lame.

I think it'll be cool to be in the workplace in the next decade - think of all the people you'll meet!

Hoping you guys are having a grand old time.

Checklists

"Urghhh"

:L

Checklistsssss - so much stuff to get done.

And I have a month to do it D:

And and, there's a paragraph which says I probably need to prove that I'm HIV-negative. But then I called, and the lady said I didn't need to do it, probably.

And I need to register at some Agency.

Sigh so much stuff...

On the flipside, I'm closer to actually starting uni.

And textbooks. Should I get second hand or new?

Hoping you guys are less busy I suppose.

New Year

"Happy Chinese New Year"

Or - New Year's Coming Soon [pinyin]

And, it was kinda fun, a bit of a long journey.

Better start advertising myself as a tutor though.

And, on the car trip we see a guy fully decked out in long sleeve and jacket and beard.

In 35+ degree heat.

Brother: He's like a rock star. They're always wearing a leather jacket.That's why everyone thinks they're hot.

And I got $10 from my cousins. But that's not the point.

Hoping you guys are having a great time and such.