Hello world

Games are fascinating, particularly as a piece of literature. Shame it's sometimes hard to find the ones worth talking about.

Slowly working through my backlog in the leadup to uni time again. And finding that I wish I had more time.

Whatever.

Not quite sure which is more interesting, the story of an individual in extreme circumstances, or an individual that's supposed to be an everyman, in said circumstances.

Which is to say, I enjoyed Transistor more than I enjoyed Bastion and I think the story had a major part to it. Though the music and aesthetic is also nicer in the former. Friends are telling me I'm crazy.

I'm not so sure. I could make an argument, but I'd be uncertain about which parts are subjective.

I guess that's part of the charm of playing games - it's subjective and interactive.

-Toan

Wanderer

Somehow got roped into competitive gaming again. In a game that I quit something like two years ago and have only really been playing casually since. I guess now I have more commitments? Commitments to friends I guess.

I don't have that many commitments, but those that I do have... I'm not sure they're altogether important. A lot of the ways I spend my time is self-improvement in one thing or another, but usually games cause that's fun at least.

A lot of the people I know, are through games. Which... I don't know. I mean, in any given crowd of people, there are great people who I'm happy to be with all the time, and then there are the people you don't really wanna mingle with that much. I wonder what the proportions are.

In particular, there's this one person who I think is pretty neat with amazing qualities who fits in the former category and the above super-category. But I guess I value the friendship more than the chance that I'll mess that up. Honestly though, I'm not sure what to do.

It's not like I'm good at decision making. Maybe it seems that way because I'm not bothered with the outcome.

Usually.

-Toan

In Circles

Somehow, I'm exhausted. Probably from.. something. Who knows.

I wish I knew why. I also don't know when my uni timetable is gonna be released. I kinda don't want to know either, cause then holidays will be over.

Meeting new people and making new friends, as well as people I'm not that fond of just makes me sort of... wonder. Or reflect. On past relationships that I've had with people, platonic or otherwise.

It's kinda like. How did I meet these people. And then why did they become my friends. Or how. And when. I mean, it's kind of interesting but... Maybe ultimately useless.

I used to be in a relationship with someone who alternatingly loving and hating. For clarity's sake, some days they really hated me and other days, they really loved me. It was a little disconcerting the first time, for sure, but after a while, I just got used to it. It wasn't so hard to avoid them on the days that they wanted nothing to do with me.

I don't know what to call that relationship. It's hard to really describe it, though that was probably the key aspect of that relationship. I guess there are things that relationships include or revolve around. And this was it. Looking back, I don't know why it started anyway. Who knows. Times have changed from them, and probably for the better.

I'd like to say I'm more mature. But I'm really still unsure.

-Toan.

Actually...

Something has been bothering me.

There are people. Who bother me. I don't know why they do. At one point, I was proud to call them my friends. Now... Now I'm not so sure.

Have I changed so much that what I admire in a person changed as well? I can't say for sure when this happened, but any respect I had for them is... wavering. It's tenuous at best.

I suppose what really concerns me is what I'm to do about it, if at all. I realise that a lot of my "problems" are really... ones that I make for myself only because I don't tell other people. I refuse to make other people feel bad for things they haven't done. And yet, I don't think there's a solution.

As such, I guess I'll have to wait.

I could lay out why they annoy me now and again, but I figure the best option is just to not bother and... what? Avoid them as much as possible? That's... Eh. I mean, I'm pretty good at running away from problems. It's not like much is going to change here, right?

-Toan

Promises

I promised myself a long time ago that I'd come back to this.

I re-read the last two posts I wrote and realised that things have indeed changed since that time.

A lot of things actually.

Something that hasn't changed is probably my writing style. Though that's probably because I don't read enough.

Anyway, I'm back, somewhat. With or without a flourish.

There are also things I regret doing and also things I regret not doing, but that's hindsight for you.

In any case, I ought to reclaim this space, and this is what I'm doing, really. I'm not entirely sure what to reclaim it with, but maybe that doesn't matter. Maybe, I just need this space to think.

It's much better to write it out than just to have it all in my head in any case.

-Toan

Busy busy...

Wonder if I should start posting about MTG on another blog. Seems appropriate.

Had a few ideas about names.

Specifically, that names are inherently meaningless, but we accept them as being an identifier for someone or something, unconditionally.

And then when we meet someone with a similar/same name, we might look at them and think "...You don't look like a Samuel".

I guess it's more about stereotypes and how hard they are to change when you don't really question them now and again.

Anyway, between learning anatomy, getting enough sleep, work, maybe starting my assignment and other uni crap..

Hoping your uni breaks are excellent.

Once more into the breach, dear friend - Once more.

Came back to this because I figure I should do with leaving some kind of record around.

Though, I never re-read this either. And no-one particularly reads it.

Need to practice consulting and examining people D: Normal people, but still.

Hands and abdomens currently. Learning knee later.

Only been 3 people in my feed for blogger.com so it's nothing fancy.

Should sleep now.

Hoping I do look back on this later.

History

"A 22 year old male presented with a bulla under the left ear. He was given a prior diagnosis of an inflammed sebaceous gland and wondered if he should excise it himself. He had a preceding upper respiratory tract infection which started 2 to 3 months ago, but has since passed, along with associated symptoms. The bulla is roughly circular and is 4 cm in diameter. The surrounding lymph nodes were swollen. He was given cephalexin monohydrate and recently started taking twice the prescribed dose in an attempt to clear the infection faster."

....Not sure what else to put - this one was a weird one.

Coincidences actually exist. Believe in them.

I was always here.

Which is to say that I never left.

A lot has happened lately.

Braces getting fitted within 2 weeks. Teeth being removed to make my face look nicer, apparently. Apparently I have too many teeth. As do most of us.

Coincidence #1: Reading material on alternative health therapies in the hopes of being able to write an essay addressing the question of what to do if a patient with idiopathic symptoms insists on alternative med X,Y,Gamma + Desktop background disappeared somehow into black when it used to be that lovely picture Aereas drew of all of us.

So I wanted to write down a short draft of ideas (plot summary) here before trying to look for the  picture again.

Coincidence #2: Found myself in the office/pharmacy/clinic of a traditional chinese doctor.

NOTE: A day has since passed because I'm slightly lazy but no-one's going to miss it, hmm?

I used to not really care. I mean - I thought she was a conventional doctor (read: mainstream?) but the space was really small. I just figured she was a mainstream doc in a herbalist's shop. So I thought I might do something like that (6 years ago).

But therein lies the first problem. It's a small office...thing. That doubles as a shop. So there's no sense of confidentiality. Any problem you have - everyone can hear. Which I took the liberty of doing because I respect her as someone who has been practicing for at least a few decades.

 A case study I happened to be writing for practice:

"A 21 year old male presented with heightened irritability, nocturnal lows in libido

and general fatigue. He suspected low levels of circulating testosterone. The symptoms started two months ago, and have been constant. He did not notice any change in male pattern hair growth over the past two months. His fatigue is alleviated following intense physical exercise.There are no significant current medications or allergies. He lives with his boyfriend in an apartment in Homebush. His diet appears balanced. He has been smoking two cigarettes a day for the past two moths, and drinks heavily on occasion. He has used amyl nitrate and marijuana before."

A case study I managed to salvage from listening to a case yesterday:

"A middle aged male presented with flaking, inflamed skin lesions dispersed on the right side of his body. They varied in severity, size and shape but the most painful lesion was on his right index finger. The lesion was an elongated, oval shaped, purple-red plaque 3cm length by 2cm across. They were flaking, painful, and started last night (6th July). His blood pressure and pulse were taken. He has tried ______ (didn't catch the medication but I suspect it was an anti-histamine like Zyrtec or something similar. They don't put you on corticosteroids until it's the last resort. Steroids are baaaaaaaaad.) but they have been ineffective.

 He likes to eat lamb and other meat. He was advised to abstain from the consumption of all meat and fruit, [well, it was more like an order], and instead put on a diet of ginger rice. When concerned about a general sense of fatigue, he was advised that abstaining from meat and fruit, and consuming ginger would help. He was also given a lump of ginger to consume."

On a guess, it's eczema and/or dermatitis, but it hasn't been ongoing (I think). If the medication is an antihistamine, then I would definitely say it's an allergic reaction to something.

I'm not sure why you would need to check BP and pulse every time. It just... doesn't make sense.

It is painful to note that there is a acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine fellowship and that their certificate of membership is almost identical to one of the ones you get for a bachelor of dental science. Mostly because it states something about high levels of clinical practice.

....

Disregarding the issue of confidentiality...

Performing tests without consent (BP and pulse), without even performing them properly (she wrapped the cuff around a jacket around his arm) can't be right.

Palpation without informed and verbal consent. (It was implicit, I suppose.)

Not undergoing a full or even focused history, and then prescribing medicine.

If I did all those things, I'd probably be deregistered :l

At the very least sued.

And then there's the issue of the ginger. I'll skip the next case summary but basically, a male presents with occasional bouts of vertigo which so far has been idiopathic. His blood pressure and pulse are taken, and then he as advised to precisely the same diet as the man before (with the skin lesions) with minor tweaks being the addition of tofu, and more ginger raw instead of ginger rice.

“All things are poisons, for there is nothing without poisonous qualities. It is only the dose which makes a thing poison.” - Paracelus

It's kinda odd to think that a substance that is perfectly safe has any use at all.

For example - paracetamol (ie; panadol) can cause severe liver damage if taken in extreme quantities (ie; more than recommended daily/time dosage). Even antibiotics which naturally have an affinity for disrupting bacterial RNA can bind and disrupt human RNA if the dosage is high enough.

But ginger? Nah, it's fine - it's totally safe and appears to be:

1) Anti-inflammatory

2) Boosts the immune system

3) Good for counter-acting vertigo

4) Plus much much more.

No side effects.

Lastly, of major concern is the advice to stop eating meat and fruit when presenting with general fatigue. Meat is one of the few easy sources of Vit B12, cobalamin, a deficiency in which will result in megablastic anaemia. (Basically less red blood cells, but they're bigger to try and compensate). Obviously, this is going to lead to even more fatigue. I have a friend who currently has to undergo a course of B12 injections simply because he's a vegetarian. 

(Maybe he'll be less lazy now. Lol.)

Did you guys know Jim Carrey is anti-vaccination? I didn't know until yesterday. It was pretty astounding, and shocking.

Conversation with a friend I sometimes slightly resent because I'm not really in-step with their attitude most of the time:

Me: Hey, did you guys know that Jim Carrey is anti-vaccination

Him: What, really? Wtf. So vaccination causes autism and all that?

Me: Yeah. Well, yes, that Carrey's anti-vaccination, but not that vaccines actually cause autism.

Him: ... You must be really dumb to believe that kind of stuff.

That's where I have to draw a line between what I would call "willfully ignorant" and simply "uneducated". I don't think anyone is "dumb", it's just a matter of what they know, how they know it, and why they think it's true. In this case, I suppose my friend is referring to those willfully ignorant, but it seems to me that he might as well be talking about both, and it's an unfair generalization.  

After looking in "The Complete Guide to Homeopathy" by Doctor Andrew Locke and Doctor Nicola Geddes (both actual MDs and not PhDs, mind you), I was pretty astounded by the lack of references and appendices to the book. Sure, it's targeted at the general public, but so is "Deadly Choices: How the Anti-Vaccine Movement Threatens Us All" by Paul A. Offit, M.D., and his book at least has some referencing, even if it is threadbare.

Anyway, that's enough for now, probably.

Yes, I'm dead, hi nice to see you for so long. 

 

Intriguing to read everything again.

Sorry I haven't been around.

Exam :l