Remodelling the desktop

So, as we speak (or as I speak), this desktop's being slowly remodelled. I'll probably unveil the changes later. I suppose it would be brilliant fun, right?

Hopefully it'll look as original and indisputably sexy as this:

Aereas wants to match wits?

I'm up for it :)

I doubt my wit's up to part with the wittiness. Although, which one of us is more cynical? I can't tell anymore, right?

Perhaps your cynicism overshadows mine? (Which I maintain I have none of and it is in fact, realism)

Religion is touchy, agreed. A bit more awkward when I'm somewhat unsure of my conversation partner's religion.

OH GODS MONTY PYTHON YES.

Sorry, I skipped ahead.

Couldn't resist.

"We shouldn't damn something that we see as unrealistic or improbable as 'impossible'."

"You're impossible!

No...just highly improbable."

I like the default font XD

The thing about the purpose of religion is that I no longer see a contemporary need for it. People will come to the same conclusions with or without what they perceive as divine alms.

"If there was no God, it would be necessary to invent it."

Right?

Perhaps pre-mass education we might have needed something to fill the gaps in knowledge. And in a way, religion continues to fill the gaps of knowledge pretty nicely. But again, doesn't that indicate its role in a knowledge driven society? 

I suppose what gripes me the most is the resistance to change. Perhaps I don't have a problem with the actual religion, the actual scriptures, codices, whatever but rather the agents of that resistance. I'm not intolerant to the point of excluding people from talking to me who have a counterpoint religion to my blasphemous and heretical outlook.

[In fact, it's probably the opposite, barring a few exceptions but I really really dislike barring anyone from contacting me. It feels wrong.]

I don't particularly read widely nor do I come from a background of philosophers, theologians, etc. However, with tolerance comes a right to an opinion I suppose.

I wouldn't care so much about religion if it wasn't as disruptive as it is beneficial. Perhaps my morals have always revolved around the Hippocratic Oath.

[And just on a side tangent, I really enjoyed one of my guest speakers for an ethics lecture. He was way, way, way better than the actual proper uni lecturer. She has no passion. No jazz. No style. No anything really. I guess I don't respect people who I don't find interesting. Is that wrong? Possibly. I do feel that most people are interesting, but it's a hit and miss kind of thing.

How this relates is that he mentioned that in a lot of ethical cases, the ends must justify the means.

To paraphrase:

The removal of organs for the purpose of human experimentation leading to death is almost undoubtedly considered morally incorrect or wrong.

The removal of organs for the purpose of treating a carcinoma (cancer) is almost undoubtedly considered morally correct or right.]

Pantheism is an idea I like only insofar as an idea that I can play around with when I'm bored. Mostly it's what the gods represent that intrigues me, and not the gods themselves. And with that said, I believe that these gods, as varied as they are, are made in the image of humanity - never the other way around.

I do believe that humanity can and always will be better than the last generation.

Science and religion aren't entirely the same thing, however they do have the same mode of proliferation. Which is generally self-proliferation. Ie; knowledge begets knowledge and faith begets faith. (Although, I wonder how many people believe in humanity as a whole? I really do wonder.)

And here's where I completely disagree. Richard Dawkins (Yes, the brilliant biologist) commented that the question of "Why do we exist?" is completely irrelevant to science. You can explain the physiology of us, but the ultimate question of "why?" is unimportant. It's like asking "Why does a mountain exist?". Well, because it does.

I don't believe that people need a purpose - they act...according to their actions. It's not something which I believe really needs much explanation. If people needed a purpose to live, the world population would probably be 100,000 right about now. (Which makes my job as a future health professional all the more easier.)

When people say "Godless", I think they mean "purposeless" and I cannot describe my life like that at all. My purpose is to act in accordance to my own selfish and amoral philosophy.

I'm using the word believe a lot, but then again, I suppose I'm espousing my own kind of faith right?

My only real purpose (if you can call it that) is to extend the lifespan of as many people as I can.

Before anyone mentions to me that that is a "good" purpose, consider those who advocate euthanasia. And those who believe through their organised religion that they are not allowed blood transfusions under any circumstances. Surgeries. Immunisations.

I see the pain ahead of me in trying to deal with this people, and when I ask an adult about it, their reaction is "Oh but you get used to it and you can separate it from you. Professionalism."

It angers me because I wholeheartedly disagree. How can you just separate yourself from that situation? And again, I understand the reality of the situation - I can't act in way X,Y,Z because it would be illegal and immoral.

But to satisfy my own need, I will fight for the lives of others.

If that isn't selfish, I'm not sure what is.

In essence, I'm using my skills to use other people to satisfy my own philosophy.

Anyway, scientists being "Popish"? But they're already Pop-ular!

Strictly speaking, it would be the first time anyone in a privileged position of faith would ever be considered stylish.

I really like my lab coat, but I'm aware that it may or may not have formaldehyde on it. Preservation chemicals for cadavers and all.

Joe is a character that I do respect, but only to a certain extent. It feels wrong to me that someone of that intelligence and experience would speak about their religious worship as though they were talking about their parents.

It is incredibly unnerving because it to me, wrongly or no, seems to be regressive. To childhood? I'm not sure.

I believe it might be ironic that the conservative "tough" mindset of "each to their own" and "Me + God => OTP" includes a vulnerability when that faith is removed.

Which would explain practically all Chrisitan/Catholic political groups.

Speaking of which, I'm still going to nonchalantly tear up their flyers on election day. Man do they make me mad.

And speaking of which, I'll happily wail on them about how their ideas are completely unfounded and backwards after their hemmorhoid performed by a bisexual female surgeon who happens to hate religion with a passion.

But then that would be wrong of me as a medical professional. I suppose maybe when they meet me in the street.

Fear is for those who do not know.

Knowledge is and always will be a means to the ends of power.

I don't particularly have a recap as nice as Aereas mostly because he's organised and I just don't care.

The reason why I argue is because I disagree vehemently with the agents of that dogma and I would normally leave it at that EXCEPT for when their actions affect other people adversely.

I refuse to believe that people can harm others because that is what they believe in.

Well, I better do a summary actually...ehehe.

1) Remodelling the interface. Stay tuned next week.
2) Yay for Monty Python
3) This post isn't that long
4) We no longer really need religion. Keyword: Need. Wants are totally different and any parent will tell you that.
5) Change is necessary
6) Humanity can and always will be better
7) My entire philosophy probably revolves around healthcare
8) I hate dogmatic political groups
9) Knowledge is pow(er)
10) Aereas is a much better presenter of ideas.

Hoping to see you all later.

What moping really is, or isn't, or a reaffirmation of.

Kael - watched your link, was quite amused. Though I'm probably sworn off RTS forever.

I'm pretty dang sleepy at the moment so maybe it'll be incoherent ramblings.

Lots and lots of trumpets everywhere.

I guess everything does kinda lead to "stuff" for lack of a better phrase and it's more my laziness than anything really.

I almost misread and subsequently misinterpreted your last line. Somehow, I thought you meant that I'm terribly classy. [Which I definitely am].

Harvard - I thought Arts/Edu people would be terribly bleak. (Just kidding, it can't be that bad.) Realism runs in my future profession I think. Maybe it's both realism and idealism....realdealism. Hehe.

Oh man I'm really really sleepy. Dangit.

Have a french band. I don't even know the genre, but I like it.

And no, I don't eat my favourite foods that often, so no they don't taste like cardboard. But I just don't (didn't) really feel like eating all that much.

Blood test tomorrow, which means a trip to the pathologist. Hrnn... And no breakfast sigh.

Maybe I'll learn a bit more about blood physiology XD

But I doubt it - it'll probably be a bit of waiting then a quick jab and then home time.

I don't feel that they'll hang around forever, but it's like... a kind of moping that I'm slightly attached to and thus have somewhat come to terms with it even though I know it's depression and well, I manage it I guess. It never feels overwhelming (except for that one time where I actually went to a counsellor for it :P Maybe I'll write about that someday [never?]). So... um... yea.

It's a little interesting if irritating (only because I get irritated easily at other things in that mood) mostly because then I wonder why I'm moping. And well, maybe it's just a combination of a few things, but usually it's at wondering why I am who I am. What lead to it?

I don't believe change is scary when it's to the self - it's different. It's...new? But you're still the same person more or less.

Speaking of which, I believe the console needs remodelling.

I'll do that in the morning or when it starts burning and exploding and things crashing around.

I had an idea for why I semi-enjoy the moping and it's mostly because I get to slowly understand why I care, why I exist and well, who I am.

Maybe it's ironic that the existential void affirms my existence.

The nothing creates the something, and thus, it's a mini Big Bang, which no-one can argue was created by some celestial or supernatural or otherwise being.

Speaking of which, someone pointed out in a video that to disprove something is harder than it is to prove something.

For instance, disprove the existence of two intangible unicorns in your room which do not interact with you in any way and you cannot interact or detect them at all.

I would love to hear a proof for that. I'm not sure of the answer. I should probably find it.

Speaking of which too, I would like to read certain research papers, haha. Medical journals are very intriguing.

And speaking of speaking of which - I make the most ridiculous connections and yet, it still organises neatly in my mind. It's trying to explain it to others that's the hard bit.

How can someone be "smart", if they are unintelligible? I will refute any notion of "intelligence" or "smartness" till I die, I suppose.

And well, I guess someone might be wondering how I can be so anti-Christianity/Catholicism when I'm a pretty firm believer in the potential of humanity.

I can't say I've had the worst life, but as with everyone there have been some really really crappy times.

I think my philosophy stems around change. Change is intrinsic to what I feel about people. I suppose change and choice perhaps. One can never be forced to change - it's always of their own choosing. I don't believe that gods, spirits, etc. are capable of change and if they are - why don't people write about that?

I suppose they do, but that's more creation myths. And what, it's usually sprites/animals? I dunno.

Perhaps the concept of change is an exciting one.

Apparently that's called Electro Swing.

Hoping you guys like it too? :P

Sorry, busy moping as usual, right?

Here, have a nice bit of music.

I love it, actually.

Actually had a small bout of depression - but not entirely full blown. I think it was to do with...stuff. Hmm... not sure actually.

I'm all bouncy now. I wonder if it's more manic depressive/bipolar than anything. I hope it's not.

I don't know enough about mental health and I probably don't really need to seeing as I probably won't be specialising in psychiatry. Still somewhat interesting to note I suppose.

Symptoms for those who are slightly neurologically inclined:

- Anorexia
- Apathy towards previously enjoyable activities
- A generally limited sense of personal disdain...for the self.

And fyi, anorexia refers to a loss of appetite :) Interesting how a physiology glossary makes things a whole lot more understandable. It's very convenient.

I have a draft portfolio due in a week, so that means a lot of reflection which means I should be reflecting a lot on my learning, based on a bunch of criterion that they think will make me into a superb doctor.

Yes, so I'll try to make up for the lack of blogging in the past few days.

I also have photos to upload of my new computer, hehe.

I'll do proper work in the morning, including a lot of phone calls, and I'm just typing while listening to music which is really really fun.

Also to everyone who thinks I'm not a terrible person, thank you for your support, but you're all completely wrong.

Now excuse me while I read up on a week's worth of blog posts that I totally missed in my general apathy.

Hoping you guys are - actually, I do have something to write about, but I can do that later or in another post. - meeting and greeting and generally enjoying the midsem. I know I am (now).

Long day

"I think I have too much faith in humanity. You have too little."

Long story short, parents started telling me about how there are really nasty people always lurking at train stations and why it's unsafe 24/7 there.

I suppose medics can't treat themselves, so maybe that makes sense but.. eh.

I just really dislike it when people act in such as way as to create unnecessary justifications for their unnecessary behaviors. A homosexual is not going to turn you into a homosexual. Nor is it extremely risky to be at a platform.

Urgh.

Maybe I'm too idealistic sometimes.

Probably.

I think what concerns me the most about negative stories and such is that I know that person can be better. I don't care who they are - they can be better than their choices.

And I remembered something specific from one of my ethics lectures, she was a pretty good lecturer though:

Paraphrased, too:

"I was treating patients at [a hospital I forgot the name of], near the [prison I forgot the name of]. So of course, my patients were mostly prisoners.

Just for some small talk, I asked my patient what he was in for. I regretted it as soon as I heard his answer.

He told me that he was in for raping a woman. And I just couldn't look at him the same way. I regretted asking that question really badly.

But even so, you can't treat people differently because of who or what they've done. At the end of the day, you're still a doctor, and they're still your patient."

and a different example:

"I was in an ER, and everyone was crowded around a man who had head trauma, but no-one was doing their job effectively.

I pushed past a little, and asked why everyone was like this. They told me that he was a convicted paedophile. That idea disgusted everyone so much that they couldn't even do their job properly."

So I suppose that's what we are. Compassionate, ethical individuals who care about people and not their actions. I suppose it's a fine distinction to make and it seems really hard...

Today's prac was about fluid movement and osmosis mainly, but we did get to look at blood and stuff like that.

Hypo, iso and hypertonic solutions :P

I knew the basics, so this course was more a refresher than anything.

I'll be doing some of the catchup paperwork, but for the most part, it's pretty solid now in my mind.

Unlike immunology....

Also, biohackathon - wow I've got less research done than my team ^^;. I feel like I'm a bad team member/leader.

Anyway, that's it, I better get back to work and stuff. Just got home an hour ago.

Hoping you guys are ontop of stuff.

Addendum

Not sure why one of my student's mother wanted me to do tutoring literally the night before the student's exam in the morning.

Whatever, it's just a little more stress cause I'm worried she won't remember all the fine details and logic through steps in HSC Physics.

Also that negative feedback on my reflection statement was causing me quite some distress. I ended up writing 3/4 of my reflective paragraph for my assignment. Which means I'm at like 700 words. Yesh.

I think I just got really mad at myself.

Feedback on writings

We got some feedback for our reflective writing paragraph draft thing and my tutor's right - I didn't really take it seriously.

Ahaha... ^^;

Maybe I was tired that time. Probably.

There is a method of evaluating and reflecting on lectures, namely What did I know prior to it, what did the lectures cover, and what do I now know (Then, what I still need to know/learn).

 Basically, Pre-incident, incident, post-incident changes.

So today, I knew about academic writing, plagiarism, etc.

The lecture was on academics, plagiarism, and referencing, including note making.

I did learn a few things about note making and referencing, as well as plagiarism and structure of the scientific report. I'll have to revise it properly though.

Lol, near the end of the day was crappy. I bought a drink that I regret buying, and I got back that feedback for a piece of work I didn't do that well in. It always feels yucky.

Hoping you guys are having more fun with stuff than me.

Work work workaholic ne

Reports.

Man they're fun but gods I want to finish it quickly.

Here's part of my introduction for your viewing pleasure.

"...In part two, Doherty’s contribution will be explained fully, and assessed for its significance to the wider medical community since 1996 through a comparison between pre-discovery understanding of cell-mediated immunity and current 21^st medical knowledge in immunology...."

Isn't it exciting? I swear, I knew nothing about this a few weeks ago but man, now it's so much clearer.

I suppose a few lectures on immunology, histology and microscopical anatomical pathology (probably not exactly what it's called, but big phrases are fun.)

I want to go out with a friend tomorrow, but I have a student at 5:30 to 6:30, and I'd have to leave Uni at 4... which means... I have like 1/2 an hour to shop around with the friend, which is kinda unsatisfying.

I'm very much considering moving the time from 5:30  to say... 7:30 or something. My parents aren't going to be happy, but that's what independance is for right?

Or maybe I'm just a snobbishly elitist elite...ly...chau....vinist................

It's so much harder to be self-degrading when you don't believe in what you're saying.

Oh and. I had something to talk about too. Besides sleeping for 1.5 hours on the way to uni and still getting there prior to 9.

Oh yes. Today's lectures were about acute inflammation with a very punny professor. 

"Why acute inflammation? Well, seeing as you have to do inflammation, we figured why not start with a cute one."

"...And so, when you study abscesses (localised collections of pus) you have to think about all the 
pus-abilities"

He's pretty cool - again, maybe not a Buckland, but close enough.

But gods the prac today was a computer lab one and it was booooring and slooooooow. I just spun in my spinny office chair to pass the two hours. Sure it's useful, but they don't have to drag it out so much.

Going back to my original point...

I saw a Muslim girl today with an iPhone and what appeared to be a designer handbag or an imitation.

I was confused at quite length.

Anyone want to hazard a guess why?

I realised after staring subtly for a while that I had a preconception that religion is a way of life in the sense that it overrides any other type of socio-cultural influence. It still surprises me when I have Muslim tutors for biochem labs. It shouldn't, I know, and yes I'm a horrible person for even thinking in this way, but it's not that I have any ill feeling, I'm just surprised, and then surprised at my surprise.

And then glad. It only takes one fanatical orthodox [insert religious adjective/category/person here] to ruin my week.

I think I came close to offending one of my friends when I expressed my dislike of the Vatican. I asked almost immediately after realising whether he considered the Vatican to be a big part of his life. To my relief, he said no, but I was still thinking about it hours later, and as you can see, days later.

When I say dislike, it's probably more like "borderline rant-y hatred"

And I should check my diaries more often. I'm so disorganised. And my room's pretty messy XD

I need to remedy that in the mid-sem break.

My thanks to whoever decided Easter would be a Fabulous commercial holiday.

Hoping you guys don't get offended too much by what I say. I don't mean to make people hate me - unlike them political commentators and radio show hosts etc.

GODS I just remembered. BOB BROWN IS A DOCTOR. A. DOC. TOR. LIKE WTF. WHY. He's gonna be talking at  UAdelaide mid-Apr about climate change impacts on health.

And before I forget, there's like a bajillion competitions for things, including an essay on cancer for a trip to Vienna, and an essay for a 30k scholarship or something. And there's the Biohackathon. I need to get that organised. Gods... so busy.

I realised I had to update a few things

Ok, I got my tags in order.

So I should be doing work, but I'm just watching Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (UK Version) for probably the second time. Sigh. I'm so bad.

And playing games.

Well, sorta.

I kinda want to play dota again, but I know I should get all my work related crap out of the way.

My oral speech is done, I just need to make it into palm cards. Or do I even need to?

Probably do.

Making dot points now.

And eating dinner. And thinking about all my other work and games and oh my I might just want to be doing too much. Who knows.

There's a bunch of competitions and stuff alongside assignments. It's actually pretty fun, but I do want to play games, which are more fun.

But in the end, the work's more rewarding, cause learning's always fun.

Medical ethics lecture with Monet this morning was...intriguing. For sure, it was more entertaining than if I was by myself.

[Sorry, some of the med lectures are rubbish on the entertainment scale, but you knew that already.]

[Anatomy and Histology's a lot better, IMO.]

Tomorrow's a prac, but... it's a computer prac. And I finish at 2pm. If anyone has a break between 12 and 1, I'd be happy to walk down to wherever. But I don't think any of you do, judging from the timetables given. So I'll just lunch with med buddies, probably. Hopefully. Maybe.

Today was learning about time management more than anything. But it was a good day.

Hoping you guys are having more fun.

Details about Medcamp

Apparently, second hand info tells me that all the girls in the med cohort of 2013 are drunkards.

Lectures was about healing and cell death, and responses to injury with a British-accented Indian professor. He's really cool. Maybe not as cool as Buckland. But good enough.

I have a break from 1-2pm tomorrow.

I learned a lot today - I'm not sure what else I'm supposed to say I learned... haha.

I haven't actually done enough work for my individual assignment. Bad me.

Library tutorial was more stuff about referencing and citations.

It seems like quite a bit of bother, especially cause Med uses APA referencing exclusively, and other faculties use other methods. It's pretty silly.

I can't say I knew much before my lectures, but now I know more.

Hoping you guys don't have bland days.

Oh, and when I finished uni for the day, I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to do, and I couldn't really contact anyone, so I figured I'd just head home. It was an odd feeling, not knowing what to do at uni. Maybe it'll come back to me tomorrow too. Who knows.

Cadavers and 4 hour days.

I get to uni at 9, and so when there's a super long block with pracs and stuff, you get hungry right?

It so happens that in both the anatomy prac today and last week, everyone was hungry during it cause of bad timetabling.

Lol.

Tutoring today for a student doing pride and freaking prejudice. :L

Cannot say I'm a fan.

I don't have much to say except that while uni's fun and interesting and stuff, it's sometimes incredibly dreary.

Hoping you guys are less sleepy when it's cold (Most of my lectures and such are in 18 degree rooms. Which is nice, sure, but it makes me hella sleepy.)