Saturday, March 5, 2011

Psychobabble

"I detest what you say; I will defend to the death your right to say it" - Voltaire.

WARNING. WARNING. PSYCHOBABBLE LASERS. Ok, well, maybe not the lasers.

And hey, I like winter melon.

So, after reading "Animal Farm" and feeling a little lazy, I'm going to use it as my supplementary text.

Of course, I was going to say something, but then forgot it. Moving on.

In the appendices at the back, Orwell talks about voluntary censorship by the community because of the prevailing orthodoxy, and I think I might as well talk about that as well.

I don't hate people who go against what I say; not even a mild dislike. But I draw the line when people go against a viewpoint, and then have little to no evidence to back them up.

But then, the censorship puts a line through that. Similar to in "The Crucible", if you write something that borders on scandalous, in terms of the what the intellect of the society see as "correct", then you risk several attacks on your reputation, and you as a writer, only because what you write is not what's current, and what people like to hear.

And here's the psychobabble bit. I remember a while back that Kram told me, "Flattery works, even when it doesn't make sense. You could say that they have beautiful blue eyes, and even if they don't, it'll still work." Of course, that's tremendously paraphrased and rewritten because I don't have the memory to sustain such quotation over such a long period of time, but the point stands. Flattery, or in this case, Literary figurative flattery, (writing what the public wants to hear, rather than what's true, right, etc.) is applauded, even when the content is absolute rubbish, while the opposite is mostly condemned, subtly or otherwise, even if it's perfectly written, well written, and the like.

Of course, Orwell wrote that preface in 1944 or somewhere thereabouts, so the more astute would mention that it might not have any relevance today. What with magazines everywhere highlighting true/false scandals of people's lives. Although, that probably falls on the border of what the public wants, and what people don't want. In any case, people today are fairly free to criticise whatever they wish and whenever. Taboos exist, sure, but they're not as set in stone (at least to people like me) as they were half a century ago.

Then you look at Assange. He's talking/writing/posting quite freely about "secret" documents and whatever, which could be true, could be false, I don't really care. I haven't seen the site, same same. What does matter is the politician's reactions. For all I care, they could be fake, but the politicians are affirming they are real by condemning the release of these documents. That is; they're not saying "That man is a liar and thief", for instance.

Sometimes the reaction tells you far more than the verbal/expected response ever could. Because people react in different ways. Let me clarify. If you ever need to ask someone a question, asking "What's the color of *that* person's hair?" and pointing is, quite expectantly going to have either a "Huh" or a "[Color], why?". But, if you pay attention to whether they turn to you, away from you, stay still, move their head, or not, tone of voice, etc, you'll find that those traits are individual for that time, and person. To get an accurate picture of the person, then you need to repeatedly note small things. Because it's non-invasive and non-intrusive, it tends to be a better way than asking flat out, "Don't you have something better to do than to sit there twiddling your thumbs?"

Or something similar.

Also, he points out the rather prevalent thought pattern that it's quite "normal" to criticise yourself and your country incredibly harshly, but it's not OK to do the same for other more "external" objects/places/things. Medical centre, there's a poster saying "If you had a friend who talked to you the way you talk to yourself, would they be your friend for long?". Which leads onto the "I'm so bad, so kill me" etc. Without being too preachy (peachy) there's a rather fine line between what's acceptable joking, and what's serious stuff. (Serious business.)

And lastly, following on from that, is how our society now has lost all subtlety. Or, most of it. These days, you can quite openly insult someone, and then, just say "Just kidding", and still have a more or less good relation with that person. Similarly, the meaning and impact of swearing has been degraded with the use of it. It's exactly how "The Scream" has been degraded because of how popular and universal it is. So much so, that you could at one point get inflatable balloon men of the solitary figure, and/or keychains. Somewhat unspeakable, but it's a successful painting because it has broken the barrier/breached the border (alliteration) of what's considered High and Low culture, or rather, the Fine Arts and the Popular Arts.

This is probably going to go online and in BB in a more refined form, because people obv want to read this.

Neku.



You thought you were safe, didn't you? Shame on you.

Hoping someone cares. Or maybe, that no-one cares. Wallow in obscurity.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Bio Excursion!

"Mangroves, mangroves and pneumatophores."

Apparently the spellcheck doesn't recognise "spellcheck" or "pneumatophores".

Moving on, rather interesting day, lots of mosquitoes because of stagnant water.

Father tells me that there's loads of wastes and runoff from pharmaceuticals and whatnot into the river/creek. So don't drink the water. (If you ever were going to.)

Also, smells like the beach, but softer.

And, it's not THAT smelly =.= I didn't see anything decomposing. Which is always a plus.

Crabs, the size of your first digit = detritus eaters. People keep saying Deh-Tryyy-Tus. But I think I'll stick to Deh-Tree-Tus.

Moving on from that... met Yuna (Could be Yoona, but I don't care) and Lisa, both rather interesting, and more on the "Ugh, work side". Which is a refreshing change. I'm sure you guys would have a lot of common with them.

And also, fur = floating. Yes. When I was wondering about adaptations of seeds, I said "It's big, so I think it'd sink." =.=

Neku.

That's my day.

Hoping for a quiet weekend (Unlikely).

Thursday, March 3, 2011

I'm still feeling really really bad. And angry.

"Get out of my life!" - Guess who? (Yea.)

1. Wake up (-100)
2. Feel guilty for yesterday's events (-150)
3. Left foot hurting (-175)
4. Get to school feeling angry and a little lonely/bored (-250)
5. Justin Goh tries to copy my work once, I give a warning, he's largely mocks me. (-375)
6. He tries again, I shove him around, lose self-control and yell at him, ie; above line. (-350, Yelled at someone, and felt a little better afterward.)
7. He mocks me in the afternoon. (-400)
8. Somewhere in there, forget to reply to an email for 4 days = guilty, so -50 somewhere. Maybe 3-4

I don't care, but I'm going to get a punching bag one day. I feel out of practice. Also, I just remembered that if you want to hurt someone, hit their face. But, I didn't.

Even when I lost control of myself for a tiny bit.

Ie; Chemistry. Damnit. Also, Mr. Weston is pretty lax. ("Stop punching, boys. *Goes back to explaining something to other Justin.")

So in short, really angry, and nothing's wiping it away right now. Maybe some games, but I don't want to do that.

Chess seems to inflame it, even though I'm winning. It's like...hollowness and anger go hand in hand.

Also, I'm scared of myself. One half wants to break something. The other half wants to break something subtly and then there's just a superficially busy/happy-ish mask on top of it.

Also, -100 for finding that my netbook has cracks. Honestly, bad workmanship Lenovo. Shame on you.
On the hinge thingies.

What else...Swimming was a dampener on the anger (ha-ha) and tiring, but satisfying. I'm looking forward to get into the water now, but not to when water gets into my nose. Otherwise, sorta liking it. (Yay!)

"If you can't change your fate, change your attitude."

So then. Time to work down the workload.

-400 now

Also, mochi pics tomorrow, and psychoanalysis. Just to satisfy the science-y people and the "ooh pretty" people.

Neku.

Hoping I get better.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I feel pretty bad.

"Y'now those days when they say that nothing's going right? Everything's going "right" but it's oh, so wrong."

1. Went to school today and overturned an invitation I never received. Mainly because she's going, but maybe because I don't really feel like going to a party and wasting my time. Feeding from the "I don't want to do anything" vibe I was having all morning. Also, feeling guilty because it was partly his fault, (he knew that was going to happen, but then victimised himself, which made me >=( and =/ at the same time.) and partly mine because I never remembered to ask who was going. Sigh. I just want to...ah.

2. Everything is far too complex, too complicated. There's just. You know webs? You can stare at them for ages, and only start to realise how spiders make them. Not that I like spiders, (once I got some putrified fly on my hand while trying to move the bins to the front of the house) but you don't have to like the organism to appreciate what they make. Relation? Social thingummies. Grrr. Sometimes...Well. I'll write down what I'm feeling somewhere so that no-one else but me will read it.

3. Math was good. Now I have quite a large amount of hw from it, but that's ok. I have 4 hours. It kinda overturned the "bad juju" of procrastination.

4. Bio = Boring McBoringBoring. Because we're still doing Year 9-10 stuff =.= So, chess it is.

5. English. Could be better. Essays, and additional texts we need to find. So, who wants to do Freud, as well?

I think I'll go mope about for a little bit longer, find some cool gadgets that play nice songs or games, and then do work. Math, English, Biology, English Extension.

Some of that's "optional" though.

Also, UI-70. Not UB-40. Screw your band, mine is better.

I think that's it. No cheap sympathy thanks. I don't give it to you, so don't give it to me. Do unto your neighbour blah blah.

Hoping that I get my supplementary text. And fast.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

It's probably same old, same old.

"So...."



Unfortunately, I can't get a whole bunch of different mochi, but it's good enough.

Random Fact/Suggestion: Don't eat more than 2 pieces in one sitting. Not good for the body (Apparently 4kJ) and not good for the digestion. At least, that's what I felt. Upset stomach = upset me =/

Random Fact/Suggestion2: Mochi would go really really really well with something incredibly salty. Like, takoyaki. Or if you're so inclined, Chips.

Nah. You don't need a pic of takoyaki.

Anyway... I think, well.

I'm sticking with this layout for a long while, so don't even think I'm gonna change it.

Bio, Math, Chem

Then some "optional" work. Yea that sounds about right.

Neku. (Adapting habits everyday.)

Hoping you don't all go Autumn on me.

Monday, February 28, 2011

30 + 74

"104"

And all manner of funkies.

Anyway.



There's another nice picture. It's not quite a bunny, but it's still good =D

Mochi!

Anyway, what is up with people? =.=

Repeat, I'm single, and plan to stay that way. For a while, anyway.

SINGLE.

Got it? Good.

Aereas, I don't enjoy the vandalism =.=

To Do (Which will become To Done later.)
Physics Write Up
Bio Write Up

Holy crap. That's all I need to do.

Aren't I lucky.

Time to get more pizza.

Another mochi pic? Nah. One per day's probably enough. Better than Libyawatch =O

Hey Aereas. Yea, you. I've finished all my stuff. So call the "To Do" list, now the "To Done" list.

Neku.

Hoping people understand.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Ah, manual labor

"General populace" - Harvard.

Anyway. I don't know what to do, but it seems like that this afternoon I shall be smelling of petrol when I've finished doing work. Mowing the lawn, using really funky power tools, and the like.

It's kinda like swimming. I don't want to do it that much, but I have to, and the upside is that I get to use really cool power tools. Like the blower. And the not-so-power-but-still-cool broom. Honestly. But I don't think I'll be sweeping the backyard today. Just the driveway.

Hose, anyone? Nah. Blower's good enough. Better to use petrol than water [/sarcasm]

Otherwise, I think I'll try to finish this math book thing for Ext 1. Not that I understand parametric parabolas very well. Looks like I'll be revising a lot...hm.

=/

Tatsukete?

Work I COULD do:
Maths (2 books, bleh.)
Phys/Chem/Bio last year's NQE booklet (Hm. Harder, and not as cool either.)
English (What English, you say? Re-writing the essay to include a second poem that he's gone over only 1/2 of, and then tightening structure.)

That's pretty much it. I suppose because they're whining and complaining and nagging for me to do math, I might as well.

What's the point of a have done list? To make you motivated, Aereas. Not everyone is an artistic genius and can get through their life on just that. Or musical, etc. Too creative for me.

Neku. (Oops.)

Hoping a new dawn will come. No, not really. I just hope that I can understand all this math-y stuff. Tatsukete kudasai~