Regarding color pencils

I won't be putting it in my pencilcase, they'll sit in their packet until i need to use them, but i'm not sure how often i will use them. Decisions, decisions.

But it does look quite nice, the light colors like blues, yellows and oranges, especially because you can't see the shoddy lines everywhere when i use them to shade and whatnot. And i hate the "sharpenings" method. It's the one where you get the pencil, shave off only the color bits and them rub them around with your fingers. Personally, it's weird an ineffective, plus it has the additional downside of being incredibly boring and doesn't look like you're getting anywhere until you compare it with uncolored (relatively white) paper.

But really, it just means one more thing to think about getting the next time i go to the shops (which, isn't too often, but perhaps i shall tommorow; i need black card and a textbook thingummy and...maybe i'll find the color pencils then).

Just because:
Favorite Food/s: Marshmallows, Fluffy Doughnuts, Vanilla Ice Cream
Favorite Color/s: In terms of dress sense (ha, ha.) Black, but that's mainly because all the loose-ish clothing i have is black, and really, Black isn't that bad of a color.
Favorite Composer: Tomohito Nishiura/ZUN. I really can't decide.
Biggest Fear: Now, i'm not opposed to manipulating someone, but i draw the line at killing someone. Mainly because it means i can't talk to them anymore.

Hoping I can decide between Faber-Castell and Derwent. (Haven't really tried Derwent, but my pride won't allow for cheap color pencils. Like, the ones that you have to sharpen 10 times before they're of SOME use.

As my grandfather might say..

"No you're wrong" (In gratuitous Mandarin) and perhaps i wasn't going during the "standard" paying times, but it wasn't too far off and for another reason, this was to put money on a printing card which was done on a machine before and thus, i see no reason for the shift in places of that machine or whether they do it somehow else, but it still does not mean i can't try. And at least not get yelled out with an uber frown.

One of these days i'm going to get me a set of color pencils and actually treat them nicely. Because the current set i have is all scratched from being in my pencilcase, almost unused for 4-5 years and in side are bits of...

1.Metal
2.Broken/Shattered Plastic (Mainly from the dismantling of pens. I actually cracked the cases because i chew on my pens occasionally. Then i just take them apart.)
3.There was at once point a sharpener in there, which with my pieces of metal, could be dismantled into a piece of plastic and a somewhat sharp blade. I got rid of the sharpener because it shattered.

So...Faber-Castell or Derwent? It'd also be nice if it had a metal case..hmm...

Due to an accident with an eraser, i ended up ripping a hole in the right picture of the Diptych i'm making. Which is all a bit frustrating, but it was just pencil and a bit of changing. Nothing to dramatic...Though it now means i can experiment with border placement; thus i can move the boundary....oooh! It'll look so much more than 2 pictures cut in half or meant to be stuck together side by side. Although in retrospect it sort of looks like Cirno. But not quite, and it WILL be mine work.

What started as hands turned into wings, and it's all detatched and it's all symbolic.

Hoping the judges understand.

Now apart from Fluffy Doughnuts

Which are quite nice, plain; that is, without any icing and fillings (fillings...eww) they are quite nice. Otherwise, no, not really. Aside from that is unfilled sponge cake and marshmallows which are the more favorite foods or confectionaries or whatever of all time for me. Chocolate? Bah! It's so...milky? It's really weird after the first bite and somehow i don't really like it. Besides the mouth ulcers which is another reason, and i still like the sugary marshmallows better, but they're hard to home make without going out to buy gelatin and sugar and more sugar and some vanilla flavouring. Oh and vanilla ice cream. Yes, they're all "desserts" but whatever.

Now apart from that, i wish that those office ladies would show the same courtesy that they expect from others. Sometimes it's bearable, but others... "We're closed. Come tommorow." All the while while pulling down the shutters. Now, it would be fine, but i had no idea, the shutters were up anyway, and she had an intense frown upon her visage. So i'm left standing there, slightly angry and more to the point, annoyed, because i needed to print something. But all was well and i actually had printing money which i did not know of. Actually, all is not well, because i'm not particularly well, and neither is a certain group task where a member is making unjustified excuses to shirk work. Maybe i'm just being biased, but this is my viewpoint and i'm not some kind of omnipresent god or something. (Heck. I'm not even religious, Terra-damn!")

And so i'm left where i sort of started; not understanding and not particualarly too happy about it either. Thus spawns my hate of group tasks. My ego can't allow slackers and my pride can't allow people doing equal or more work than me.

But other than that, upon talking to an old friend from 3 years past, i came to realise that i was blind, because they deserved better. The problem was that they didn't care. Oh well. She was sadder then. And i wonder what made her change...

Hoping you like desserts. (Which ones?)

It's sort of weird...

It's weird to be reading a forum section that is dedicated to mental disorders because they are basically talking about going to the psychiatrist and then discussing the results. So either the people are actually trying to get help/discuss, the people reading are trying to exploit them or everyone is out to exploit each other in as many ways as possible. It's like a good game of Mafia; hard to understand anything.

On another topic, Escapism is a fair big thing these days and i can understand it all, but i'm not sure why people care so much. It's not their lives, so why bother for them? They already know. It's like telling a smoker to stop smoking. They'll flip you off and give a very snide comment.

And currently is the issue of poverty in middle class countries. Yes it exists, but why should there be people who don't care? And i can't find an answer to that.

Hoping that someone will care about me.

23 days left...

I had a really neat idea of a poem, but it's going to take awhile because i can't exactly rhyme all that well and so.. Yes there's free-verse but that isn't as much fun, so it'll be nice to work on this. There are also several other things to work on, and thus a lot of things to do, but none of it mandatory besides a few things involving databases and a booklet of notes or a novel.

Thus lots to do and lots to see, not that much time to see it and a lot of time to be outraged at the lack of...attention some subjects have in some people's minds. Perhaps it's just me and perhaps there wasn't enough time, but it still pains me and i wish i was studying "A Sad Child" instead of "London" because it's more contemporary, and though both are great poems, it'd rather write an essay on the former.

Also 23 days left until that thingummy needs to be produced and handed in, and i'm about 1/3 of the way. Grrr. Perhaps i need to add more time to it, but then there's also the problem of getting card. I suppose if it's not raining tomorrow i'll go get some with my own excuses and ways of doing things.

I'm appalled at how people will issue notices for physical health but outside of actual information sessions, there are never hand-outs for mental health. It makes me angry because i'm not in a position to change things, and the people who can willn't listen. Or if they will, then CHANGE SOMETHING.

"Don't see them as 'people'. I see a multitude of individuals all with hopes, fears and dreams"

I wonder how true or relevant that is to today...
And yes i lack compassion unless it's convenient to myself and myself only, but what will i do? Nothing.

And apparently, Beyond Blue is also for stress but i don't buy that. And for work experience. Which is damned cool and just means that i have to call them. Eventually.

There was something else i scribbled but it's faded now. Oh well.

Hoping you can find something you like doing.

Often I have dreams
Of music and dance
But there are screams
Screams of pain perchance?

Not sure if it's good but whatever.

Why should i ever hope less?

If anything, there is an expectation for people to not hope for anything. Then what is the point? Why don't we hope more, why can't we try to hold out until something else comes along? And although Heaven falls into this "category" it's pretty silly, because it's another existance, or so i've heard, and thus, of no use to mortals like me.

Why can't i hope for any more? It does not destroy my health, it actually does not do anything to it, and i dare you to prove otherwise. With a plausible scenario; no "oh but you're hoping for death".

I can however, hope that the rain will last longer/shorter, that nothing "bad" will happen to me, but there is something in everything that can be taken and re-used. Thus, recycling in the "modern" form isn't exactly too high on my list of "to do's", however the recycling of always; taking anything and everything to be reused is still something i like doing.

And i've actually tried to be angry when i'm not and it's actually incredibly hard. A lot of that time it turns into me musing about other things incredibly off-topic and incredibly incredulous.

Hoping you will hope more for the things worth hoping.

Perhaps it's just me..

But i really like the poem "The Poison Tree". Also, it's getting darker sooner, or perhaps i'm just forgetting daylight un-savings.

And i really need to buy some new folders because the one i have now for everthing is dying, but i can patch it up. I think.

Not much to say/do. Sorry.

Hoping you find something more interesting.