"^ Heart x Miracle"
Though, maybe Kokoro is supposed to be in hira, as is Kiseki.
Lemme check.
Yep, Kokoro is meant to be in hira. I still like it in Kata, though. 心
Look familiar? Now time to find Kiseki...
....
GG, HSC vocab book doesn't have kiseki. Closest is "Kisetsu"
奇跡
^ Maybe that's right. Whaaaaaaatever.
How does this relate?
Man, it took me sooooooooo long to find this
So you better watch it, Aereas. I love the style of it. Upbeat, but incredibly sad.
Lastly, I need to do be doing work, but I'm not.
Whatever. I have maths, english...that kinda thing.
Hoping people notice. Also, I'm going to be writing a poem about ^, probably. Should be great, yes? Yes.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
さて、でわ はじめましょう。
"Ok, let's get started." ^
I'm remembering bits and pieces.
And also, I finished that Eng Ext thing.
I hope you guys like this one
I know I did.
Also, Aereas, if you don't read this, all the better for me.
I mean, you don't do Biology. What would you know? =3
Anyway, Candid Friend, you gotta help me with poetry, really. I mean, I'm used to 1k words. Or 1.5. Not 80 lines. =S
Lastly, because I want to keep this short and simple, there's quite a bit of work to do, and learning and...hm.
I don't know anymore.
Hoping I remember what I was going to do.
I'm remembering bits and pieces.
And also, I finished that Eng Ext thing.
I hope you guys like this one
I know I did.
Also, Aereas, if you don't read this, all the better for me.
I mean, you don't do Biology. What would you know? =3
Anyway, Candid Friend, you gotta help me with poetry, really. I mean, I'm used to 1k words. Or 1.5. Not 80 lines. =S
Lastly, because I want to keep this short and simple, there's quite a bit of work to do, and learning and...hm.
I don't know anymore.
Hoping I remember what I was going to do.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
私の日
"Does anyone still remember ラメンの日？”
Anyway, my day has been mental death image free, so that's good, right?
A few things.
Candid Fruit Friend (I forgot what I was gonna call you), there's a poetry competition going on atm, and you're going to join it with me! (Moral support and whatnot, because, how to write poetry?)
Swimming teachers and teachers in general have different rhythms. While my usual teach is technique based, the sub today was more about endurance. =(
So tired.
And, I still have to do a few more things of this blog.
INTRODUCING A NEW IDIOSYNCRASY
Videos! Yes. Music! Good, calming pictures! I won't post the dodgy one, with the women baring her breasts, so don't worry.
Have fun listening to the calming music. I know I am. With surround sound! (2.0), maybe.
Anyway, this is turning out to be *too* happy. Or...is it just right? I don't know.
Finished editing story, just need a good title.
I found the perfect transition for 2RaxRifles....Guess what it is?
Yes, that's right. TANKS. Think of the upgrades! The Mania! Etc.
Lastly, but definitely, the most important thing on my mind.
Dear Daniel,
To date, I think I've started most of our conversations; the one exception would be probably that time where you wanted help with the essay, I think.
But it's ok, because I'm used to starting conversations. Luckily, no-one thinks I'm too annoying for it, except maybe you, sometimes. But that's ok. You're still my friend.
I didn't think "What's wrong with DL these days", it was Aereas' question that made me try to answer it in a tactful way, but as statistics show, Neku is a jerk, and can't be tactful if his life depended on it. (It probably did.)
I did think about your post about how you just started crying, and really, I didn't know what I should do. So I didn't do anything, and went with my daily life, blogging, trying to talk to you, asking if you were ok, which, were met with your "standard" responses. And of course, all I could really do, some days, was think "Hm, he's probably busy, better make an excuse to leave him alone.", so I'd say something along the lines of "Well, I gotta go do something, brb.", and then not actually come back.
Whether you wanted that or not, I have no idea. I just didn't have any idea what to do, either. (Did I tell you I like long emails? I do.)
One day, a little annoyed, because of buses, and those were the days when I didn't have bloody images of carnage, I asked you quite brutally, "Why are you so cold?", while feigning a whimsical approach. Instead, I got a rather honest answer, and to this day, I'm still regretting what I said.
Anyway, eventually, I was talking to two other friends, and they told me exactly the same thing you told me, when I asked you. That there was nothing to respond to.
Some days I won't have something to put "out there", others I will. But I think it just feels weird to be talking so much about me, which is what this blog is about, so I can concentrate on directing conversations more about the person I'm talking to.
Maybe it's not good, maybe it is. Who cares. Either way, it's how I talk.
I used to think that no-one noticed, that of my friends, 2 of them would understand what I felt, but not why, and certainly not bring it up. I never really talked too much about it to them. And then, I made the post, and figured that would be that. Your standard kind of drabble-y fluff that usually goes on here.
And you know, I was quite surprised that you did, in fact, comment. Short, and brief, but definitely interesting. So I went and asked you about it, and then the next day, we were talking about black dogs, and laughing again, as usual.
Just like in year 6.
How much have I changed? How much have you changed? Enough to know that we're different.
But I hope that our friendship hasn't, and won't.
PS: There are loads of things I'm afraid of. Heights, spiders, rejection, people I love dying, me being the person to bring about that, a total loss of control, killing people for no reason, causing people pain, causing any pain, etc.
I could literally go on forever. Confidence and having no fears are quite different things. I'm human, for now, so, I think it would be unfair to the world to be unfeeling and unafraid.
Of course, you probably don't mean it literally. But, same same.
Hoping you read this, bookmark it, and just think about your life.
Anyway, my day has been mental death image free, so that's good, right?
A few things.
Candid Fruit Friend (I forgot what I was gonna call you), there's a poetry competition going on atm, and you're going to join it with me! (Moral support and whatnot, because, how to write poetry?)
Swimming teachers and teachers in general have different rhythms. While my usual teach is technique based, the sub today was more about endurance. =(
So tired.
And, I still have to do a few more things of this blog.
INTRODUCING A NEW IDIOSYNCRASY
Videos! Yes. Music! Good, calming pictures! I won't post the dodgy one, with the women baring her breasts, so don't worry.
Have fun listening to the calming music. I know I am. With surround sound! (2.0), maybe.
Anyway, this is turning out to be *too* happy. Or...is it just right? I don't know.
Finished editing story, just need a good title.
I found the perfect transition for 2RaxRifles....Guess what it is?
Yes, that's right. TANKS. Think of the upgrades! The Mania! Etc.
Lastly, but definitely, the most important thing on my mind.
Dear Daniel,
To date, I think I've started most of our conversations; the one exception would be probably that time where you wanted help with the essay, I think.
But it's ok, because I'm used to starting conversations. Luckily, no-one thinks I'm too annoying for it, except maybe you, sometimes. But that's ok. You're still my friend.
I didn't think "What's wrong with DL these days", it was Aereas' question that made me try to answer it in a tactful way, but as statistics show, Neku is a jerk, and can't be tactful if his life depended on it. (It probably did.)
I did think about your post about how you just started crying, and really, I didn't know what I should do. So I didn't do anything, and went with my daily life, blogging, trying to talk to you, asking if you were ok, which, were met with your "standard" responses. And of course, all I could really do, some days, was think "Hm, he's probably busy, better make an excuse to leave him alone.", so I'd say something along the lines of "Well, I gotta go do something, brb.", and then not actually come back.
Whether you wanted that or not, I have no idea. I just didn't have any idea what to do, either. (Did I tell you I like long emails? I do.)
One day, a little annoyed, because of buses, and those were the days when I didn't have bloody images of carnage, I asked you quite brutally, "Why are you so cold?", while feigning a whimsical approach. Instead, I got a rather honest answer, and to this day, I'm still regretting what I said.
Anyway, eventually, I was talking to two other friends, and they told me exactly the same thing you told me, when I asked you. That there was nothing to respond to.
Some days I won't have something to put "out there", others I will. But I think it just feels weird to be talking so much about me, which is what this blog is about, so I can concentrate on directing conversations more about the person I'm talking to.
Maybe it's not good, maybe it is. Who cares. Either way, it's how I talk.
I used to think that no-one noticed, that of my friends, 2 of them would understand what I felt, but not why, and certainly not bring it up. I never really talked too much about it to them. And then, I made the post, and figured that would be that. Your standard kind of drabble-y fluff that usually goes on here.
And you know, I was quite surprised that you did, in fact, comment. Short, and brief, but definitely interesting. So I went and asked you about it, and then the next day, we were talking about black dogs, and laughing again, as usual.
Just like in year 6.
How much have I changed? How much have you changed? Enough to know that we're different.
But I hope that our friendship hasn't, and won't.
PS: There are loads of things I'm afraid of. Heights, spiders, rejection, people I love dying, me being the person to bring about that, a total loss of control, killing people for no reason, causing people pain, causing any pain, etc.
I could literally go on forever. Confidence and having no fears are quite different things. I'm human, for now, so, I think it would be unfair to the world to be unfeeling and unafraid.
Of course, you probably don't mean it literally. But, same same.
Hoping you read this, bookmark it, and just think about your life.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Reminiscence is not what you think.
"Reminiscence is a technical term, coined by Ballard in 1913, denoting improvement in the performance of a partially learned act that occurs while the subject is resting, that is, not performing the act in question. (Eysenck and Frith, 1977, page 3)."
^ Straight from wikipedia.
In other words, it's not a form of "Reminisce".
But you knew that, right?
It's kinda unsettling to think that I have such mediocre marks for everything.
Or well... There has to be something wrong. Obviously, if someone puts so much effort into something, and it's not working, then it means something is lacking. It's not work/effort amount. In this case, one could say that I don't have the "right patterns internalised".
So, I'm probably looking for that something, while I do homework..hm.
It's definitely not tutoring. There's just something..I can't put my finger on.
Also, I remembered who told me to make a wish at 11.11.
I was right, they were nice. And I do miss them a little.
In any case, there's soup with leeks today. It's quite nice.
Wish I had vanilla ice cream atm. Oh well. Can't have it all.
Also, I'm appalled at how the teachers care so much for my/our saftey on the sports buses, but they couldn't care less for the Epping buses. Numbers is definitely an issue. So, what.
The.
Hell.
Also...Oh. I was getting annoyed on the bus. I think maybe I have some kind of annoyance for buses. Not the Epping, because it was nice and unpacked, but the sports bus.
Just general discomfort. So, er, apologies for my "mood" at skating; I wasn't feeling that good.
Lastly, I need to work on SMH, as well as physics and chem things and............................
Oh, whatever. Weekends, I'm definitely going to be playing games, and maybe doing math tutoring work.
Maybe what I'm lacking is a balance between gaming and work? Hm....... There has to be something. And maybe, "emulate the best of the best". So...well, that's pretty darned easy. I'm friends with them. =O
I think that's it. This one's your avg. daily drabble/fluffy nonsense.
Hoping someone cares, besides me.
^ Straight from wikipedia.
In other words, it's not a form of "Reminisce".
But you knew that, right?
It's kinda unsettling to think that I have such mediocre marks for everything.
Or well... There has to be something wrong. Obviously, if someone puts so much effort into something, and it's not working, then it means something is lacking. It's not work/effort amount. In this case, one could say that I don't have the "right patterns internalised".
So, I'm probably looking for that something, while I do homework..hm.
It's definitely not tutoring. There's just something..I can't put my finger on.
Also, I remembered who told me to make a wish at 11.11.
I was right, they were nice. And I do miss them a little.
In any case, there's soup with leeks today. It's quite nice.
Wish I had vanilla ice cream atm. Oh well. Can't have it all.
Also, I'm appalled at how the teachers care so much for my/our saftey on the sports buses, but they couldn't care less for the Epping buses. Numbers is definitely an issue. So, what.
The.
Hell.
Also...Oh. I was getting annoyed on the bus. I think maybe I have some kind of annoyance for buses. Not the Epping, because it was nice and unpacked, but the sports bus.
Just general discomfort. So, er, apologies for my "mood" at skating; I wasn't feeling that good.
Lastly, I need to work on SMH, as well as physics and chem things and............................
Oh, whatever. Weekends, I'm definitely going to be playing games, and maybe doing math tutoring work.
Maybe what I'm lacking is a balance between gaming and work? Hm....... There has to be something. And maybe, "emulate the best of the best". So...well, that's pretty darned easy. I'm friends with them. =O
I think that's it. This one's your avg. daily drabble/fluffy nonsense.
Hoping someone cares, besides me.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
An incredible amount of thinking..
"What are all these "ly" words? Adjectives. Yes. I see you are all as slow as my students."
Ok, well a few things.
1) I need to improve my handwriting. Looks like I gotta research a bit.
2) I need to finish/do my hw.
3) Research tasks
4) Learning hacking, again. But it may be a massive time sink/soak/sponge.
5) Writing...
Apparently SMH has a finalist pool, and if you get chosen for that, you need to submit 2 more stories, to prove that you're a pro-writer.
So, looks like I got a lot of work to do.
I've figured out a few things and neither of them are pleasant.
You know about bioaccumulation?
Well, there's emotional accumulation.
That's one.
The other is what happens when I'm annoyed.
I have realised that this happens during the daily dogpile for the bus.
Without my realisation, I'm already imagining ways for the people around/near/in front of me to die in the next hour.
It's pretty minor, granted, but I wonder what'll happen when I'm sufficiently irritated...
In any case, I'm reminded of something I said in the morning, about how sleeping...
Well, if I could graph this, I could, so instead I'll use my brilliant collq. writing style (Which, probably is the only reason I got 13 instead of 15 for ext eng, btw) to illustrate my meaning.
That is; that every time I sleep, physical well being increases, and mental/emotional well being decreases.
Maybe now you can realise why I don't like waking up.
By extension, not liking sleeping, but to a lesser extent.
Lastly, Oscar Wilde says that art should be for art's sake; that people like me, who put a fragment of themselves into their work, to show people my life, to show my struggles, my thoughts, my ideas, my beliefs...
That people like me should effectively be burnt at the stake. Or not be writers at all.
However, I suppose I'm in the "now" not in his time, so I...
It's like that other time where Li was telling me that 200 years ago, I'd have been hanged by now for what I do.
Anyway, if you haven't noticed, my mind is also fairly fluid and flexible, and prefers to be thinking about several things at once, irrespective of what I want.
And so, that's today's bit.
I've noticed so many things...
I wonder if one day, I'll kill someone. I really do.
Hoping...well. What should I hope for...(I'm putting this here, because I'm feeling a little nostalgic. I forget who said it, but there's a voice in my head, of a girl I know/knew, I..can't say whom. Who said, "Make a wish, it's 11:11", and me, scoffing at it, and both of us laughing over it. I have an inkling for who it may be, but, I'm not quite sure. It's like me in the mornings, where I have no idea what's reality and what isn't, until I make some observations and think. And, I miss the person who said it, quite a bit. I don't know why. Maybe I just miss my past.)
Ok, well a few things.
1) I need to improve my handwriting. Looks like I gotta research a bit.
2) I need to finish/do my hw.
3) Research tasks
4) Learning hacking, again. But it may be a massive time sink/soak/sponge.
5) Writing...
Apparently SMH has a finalist pool, and if you get chosen for that, you need to submit 2 more stories, to prove that you're a pro-writer.
So, looks like I got a lot of work to do.
I've figured out a few things and neither of them are pleasant.
You know about bioaccumulation?
Well, there's emotional accumulation.
That's one.
The other is what happens when I'm annoyed.
I have realised that this happens during the daily dogpile for the bus.
Without my realisation, I'm already imagining ways for the people around/near/in front of me to die in the next hour.
It's pretty minor, granted, but I wonder what'll happen when I'm sufficiently irritated...
In any case, I'm reminded of something I said in the morning, about how sleeping...
Well, if I could graph this, I could, so instead I'll use my brilliant collq. writing style (Which, probably is the only reason I got 13 instead of 15 for ext eng, btw) to illustrate my meaning.
That is; that every time I sleep, physical well being increases, and mental/emotional well being decreases.
Maybe now you can realise why I don't like waking up.
By extension, not liking sleeping, but to a lesser extent.
Lastly, Oscar Wilde says that art should be for art's sake; that people like me, who put a fragment of themselves into their work, to show people my life, to show my struggles, my thoughts, my ideas, my beliefs...
That people like me should effectively be burnt at the stake. Or not be writers at all.
However, I suppose I'm in the "now" not in his time, so I...
It's like that other time where Li was telling me that 200 years ago, I'd have been hanged by now for what I do.
Anyway, if you haven't noticed, my mind is also fairly fluid and flexible, and prefers to be thinking about several things at once, irrespective of what I want.
And so, that's today's bit.
I've noticed so many things...
I wonder if one day, I'll kill someone. I really do.
Hoping...well. What should I hope for...(I'm putting this here, because I'm feeling a little nostalgic. I forget who said it, but there's a voice in my head, of a girl I know/knew, I..can't say whom. Who said, "Make a wish, it's 11:11", and me, scoffing at it, and both of us laughing over it. I have an inkling for who it may be, but, I'm not quite sure. It's like me in the mornings, where I have no idea what's reality and what isn't, until I make some observations and think. And, I miss the person who said it, quite a bit. I don't know why. Maybe I just miss my past.)
Monday, May 23, 2011
Deja Vu
"Matrix style?"
This time though, it's repetition with a difference.
And perhaps, for your benefit, I'll use hyperlinks instead.
Today's music is a vocal arrange of an instrumental. 4 actually.
In any case, it's good and you should totally listen to it.
It's not weird, I swear.
Today...I got the feeling that I've been here before. It's like, my 3rd? 4th? Time in this position. I don't know what to think anymore.
Which means, I wonder what tonight's dream will be. Maybe...maybe I'll know what to think/do after it.
But I don't want to sleep, there's just so much work.
English
Physics
Chem
And extra work...tutoring...
Eugh. I'm not sure if I wanted tutoring, but seeing as I now have it..
They say that once you've pulled back the chain, unlocked the 5 locks on your door, and opened your eyes, opportunity has already left.
So, perhaps...perhaps my day is just full of opportunities.
So why does my heart feel heavy?
Also, I noticed that my left wrist and entire left abdomen hurts a lot when I do..something. It's like if you stuck a few knives there.
=S I know what the trigger is, but I don't want to say.
Also, I can seriously liken Warcraft 3, Essay writing, Creative writing, to pretty much everything, and with each other.
Like, for creative writing, you need to be concise, and have every phrase doing 2+ things.
Just like in WC3, where if I get a really early blacksmith for rifles, I can also get upgrades.
Or like in Essay writing, where I need to be concise and not waffle-y, because my WPM isn't high enough for that.
Similarly, with your micro, you can't be waffle-y and control only one unit, because my APM doesn't allow for that.
I could go on forever, so I'll stop now.
Hoping tomorrow I'll know what to do.
This time though, it's repetition with a difference.
And perhaps, for your benefit, I'll use hyperlinks instead.
Today's music is a vocal arrange of an instrumental. 4 actually.
In any case, it's good and you should totally listen to it.
It's not weird, I swear.
Today...I got the feeling that I've been here before. It's like, my 3rd? 4th? Time in this position. I don't know what to think anymore.
Which means, I wonder what tonight's dream will be. Maybe...maybe I'll know what to think/do after it.
But I don't want to sleep, there's just so much work.
English
Physics
Chem
And extra work...tutoring...
Eugh. I'm not sure if I wanted tutoring, but seeing as I now have it..
They say that once you've pulled back the chain, unlocked the 5 locks on your door, and opened your eyes, opportunity has already left.
So, perhaps...perhaps my day is just full of opportunities.
So why does my heart feel heavy?
Also, I noticed that my left wrist and entire left abdomen hurts a lot when I do..something. It's like if you stuck a few knives there.
=S I know what the trigger is, but I don't want to say.
Also, I can seriously liken Warcraft 3, Essay writing, Creative writing, to pretty much everything, and with each other.
Like, for creative writing, you need to be concise, and have every phrase doing 2+ things.
Just like in WC3, where if I get a really early blacksmith for rifles, I can also get upgrades.
Or like in Essay writing, where I need to be concise and not waffle-y, because my WPM isn't high enough for that.
Similarly, with your micro, you can't be waffle-y and control only one unit, because my APM doesn't allow for that.
I could go on forever, so I'll stop now.
Hoping tomorrow I'll know what to do.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Logarithm
"Hm..."
Learned a few things today.
But I also need to learn about "e"
I mean, seriously, what is it?
It's a limit for the integral of "1/x"
Is that it?
=(
How is that significant?
I don't know.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyliGZjpZTw
^ It's really catchy. =D
Yep, catchy.
Better that any other catchy song I know.
Anyway, I noticed that Harvard's blog post for today has quite a familiar name.
Hah.
Also, I need learn differentiation of Trigonometric functions.
Eugh.
W/e, time to slack off!
Hoping I have enough time...hm.
Learned a few things today.
But I also need to learn about "e"
I mean, seriously, what is it?
It's a limit for the integral of "1/x"
Is that it?
=(
How is that significant?
I don't know.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyliGZjpZTw
^ It's really catchy. =D
Yep, catchy.
Better that any other catchy song I know.
Anyway, I noticed that Harvard's blog post for today has quite a familiar name.
Hah.
Also, I need learn differentiation of Trigonometric functions.
Eugh.
W/e, time to slack off!
Hoping I have enough time...hm.
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