You'd think that you could control your emotions, but i'm struggling with mine. I'm lamenting the loss of a pacer, the regret of having done something (or several) that i should not have over the course of my life, guilt for said things and much more and regret for not listening to my parents more. (Despite what people think, they are the best parents in the world, because they are mine.) And somehow, all this manifests in me being extremely tired, irritated and bored. At the same time. And regretting everything i've ever done. It's like Survivor's Guilt, but worse. A whole lot worse.
I guess if i tried really hard, i could rationalize everything. Here goes:
Insomnia:Daylight savings be coming tommorow, time shift/jet lag, whatever you will name it
Tiredness: Insomnia
Guilt: Hormones?
Remorse: Chain of guilt
Regret: Chaining on from remorse
Irritated bordering Angry: Lack of sleep
Bored: Irritation and lack of interest from my normal hobbies and points of interest.
But...i have found something else, more interesting, but also sad and relates to these symptoms. I guess you could check it up too, but i'm making a note so i can revist this time in my life should i ever get nostalgic. And i do. A lot.
I have tried escapism, but as i mentioned before, i didn't quite work. Mainly because i have work to do and partly because i know i shouldn't. I hope it goes away soon, but i know it won't.
I can't believe i just posted about how bad my life is. 1st one. Should archive it or something.
On a light(er) note, it would seem that this post is also a jumping point for several other things. What an opportunistic kid!
Hoping you can get some sleep. Unlike me. Yawn.
Friday, April 2, 2010
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2 comments:
get better soon
If/When i do, i'll attribute part of it to that comment. Slackers. Hmph. (Errr, not you of course (Kram)) (Feels like actionscript all over again!)
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