"Get out of my life!" - Guess who? (Yea.)
1. Wake up (-100)
2. Feel guilty for yesterday's events (-150)
3. Left foot hurting (-175)
4. Get to school feeling angry and a little lonely/bored (-250)
5. Justin Goh tries to copy my work once, I give a warning, he's largely mocks me. (-375)
6. He tries again, I shove him around, lose self-control and yell at him, ie; above line. (-350, Yelled at someone, and felt a little better afterward.)
7. He mocks me in the afternoon. (-400)
8. Somewhere in there, forget to reply to an email for 4 days = guilty, so -50 somewhere. Maybe 3-4
I don't care, but I'm going to get a punching bag one day. I feel out of practice. Also, I just remembered that if you want to hurt someone, hit their face. But, I didn't.
Even when I lost control of myself for a tiny bit.
Ie; Chemistry. Damnit. Also, Mr. Weston is pretty lax. ("Stop punching, boys. *Goes back to explaining something to other Justin.")
So in short, really angry, and nothing's wiping it away right now. Maybe some games, but I don't want to do that.
Chess seems to inflame it, even though I'm winning. It's like...hollowness and anger go hand in hand.
Also, I'm scared of myself. One half wants to break something. The other half wants to break something subtly and then there's just a superficially busy/happy-ish mask on top of it.
Also, -100 for finding that my netbook has cracks. Honestly, bad workmanship Lenovo. Shame on you.
On the hinge thingies.
What else...Swimming was a dampener on the anger (ha-ha) and tiring, but satisfying. I'm looking forward to get into the water now, but not to when water gets into my nose. Otherwise, sorta liking it. (Yay!)
"If you can't change your fate, change your attitude."
So then. Time to work down the workload.
-400 now
Also, mochi pics tomorrow, and psychoanalysis. Just to satisfy the science-y people and the "ooh pretty" people.
Neku.
Hoping I get better.
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6 comments:
When you're annoyed at first (eg -150) things that normally wouldn't be annoying (-10 or so) become really really annoying (-125). Annoyance snowballs, be careful of that.
People tend to respect you less if you punch them. But I don't know, maybe it's healthy. I for one can't even form a fist properly anymore.
you have better things to spend your emotion on
do you remember handlebars? the dude ended up dying in a riot. don't ride bikes, brendan.
mr weston, I kind of miss him but not really. he made me realize I didn't like science. But he would be a nice s&c teacher to have. If he taught that ofc.
Correction:
Don't ride bikes without handlebars; you can't balance.
Haha. But I get what you mean.
@renee
mrs kwan was the best science teacher ever!
Lol. If JM was here...
Banshee!
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