Emotions, emotions, emotions.

"When dealing with people, you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."

Ok, so I was feeling kinda (What an understatement) bad while writing an essay about that, and I wanted to cry, but I probably wouldn't have gotten away with it, and...

Anyway, I figured out why I feel bad, and it's not...

It's really complicated.

But I might as well put it here.

It's like...

Kathy hates me, and I should hate her, but half of me doesn't, and then, I had these really =/// thoughts today that I'm not going to go into, probably because it's been 2 weeks since I've seen her, and I'm going into shock or something.

But er, plans of revenge and whatnot, and I really really need to have some better motive to NOT enact them. =(

I wonder if I'm becoming a worse and worse and worse person, by the minute, by the day.

Sure my math test was fine, and I can beat a few people on ICCUP and some people in chess.

Just because you have achievements, doesn't mean that you have merit/worth...

And then thoughts of self-harm, which are really uncharacteristic, and that made it even more =((((

So, yea.

To surmise: It hurts. A lot.

Well.

That's my day in 200 words or so. In shorter: Being ignored by people you care about hurts, but being insulted by them hurts just a bit more.

And is trading a queen for 2 bishops ever worth it, to either side?

Lastly, the persona in "Funeral Blues" portrays their sadness and their emotion over their logic in "Pack away the stars", hyperbolic images enhancing their pain.

Erm...

I think I'll play "A Maiden's Illusionary Funeral ~ Necro-Fantasy"

It's just so nice.

Erm. And if...well. I can make conversation with any song playing on my MP3, except if it's a podcast. But that's not a song. And also, so long as the volume doesn't overpower the speaker.

And no, I don't want your cheap sympathy. I can tell if it's cheap or not, and if it feels cheap to you, then you can bet your ass that it's going to feel cheap to me.

What else...

I might "quit" melee, only because the time spent vs reward graph is just so...flat.

There's no one to play against, so no shiny icons.

And if I keep playing people who are worse than me, I might end up learning crappy McCrap Crap strategies/transitions.

Sorry Kael.

What else...

Last thing to do....hm

If I ever remember, I might edit it in.

Goodnight.

Hoping tomorrow will be a better day.