What moping really is, or isn't, or a reaffirmation of.

Kael - watched your link, was quite amused. Though I'm probably sworn off RTS forever.

I'm pretty dang sleepy at the moment so maybe it'll be incoherent ramblings.

Lots and lots of trumpets everywhere.

I guess everything does kinda lead to "stuff" for lack of a better phrase and it's more my laziness than anything really.

I almost misread and subsequently misinterpreted your last line. Somehow, I thought you meant that I'm terribly classy. [Which I definitely am].

Harvard - I thought Arts/Edu people would be terribly bleak. (Just kidding, it can't be that bad.) Realism runs in my future profession I think. Maybe it's both realism and idealism....realdealism. Hehe.

Oh man I'm really really sleepy. Dangit.

Have a french band. I don't even know the genre, but I like it.

And no, I don't eat my favourite foods that often, so no they don't taste like cardboard. But I just don't (didn't) really feel like eating all that much.

Blood test tomorrow, which means a trip to the pathologist. Hrnn... And no breakfast sigh.

Maybe I'll learn a bit more about blood physiology XD

But I doubt it - it'll probably be a bit of waiting then a quick jab and then home time.

I don't feel that they'll hang around forever, but it's like... a kind of moping that I'm slightly attached to and thus have somewhat come to terms with it even though I know it's depression and well, I manage it I guess. It never feels overwhelming (except for that one time where I actually went to a counsellor for it :P Maybe I'll write about that someday [never?]). So... um... yea.

It's a little interesting if irritating (only because I get irritated easily at other things in that mood) mostly because then I wonder why I'm moping. And well, maybe it's just a combination of a few things, but usually it's at wondering why I am who I am. What lead to it?

I don't believe change is scary when it's to the self - it's different. It's...new? But you're still the same person more or less.

Speaking of which, I believe the console needs remodelling.

I'll do that in the morning or when it starts burning and exploding and things crashing around.

I had an idea for why I semi-enjoy the moping and it's mostly because I get to slowly understand why I care, why I exist and well, who I am.

Maybe it's ironic that the existential void affirms my existence.

The nothing creates the something, and thus, it's a mini Big Bang, which no-one can argue was created by some celestial or supernatural or otherwise being.

Speaking of which, someone pointed out in a video that to disprove something is harder than it is to prove something.

For instance, disprove the existence of two intangible unicorns in your room which do not interact with you in any way and you cannot interact or detect them at all.

I would love to hear a proof for that. I'm not sure of the answer. I should probably find it.

Speaking of which too, I would like to read certain research papers, haha. Medical journals are very intriguing.

And speaking of speaking of which - I make the most ridiculous connections and yet, it still organises neatly in my mind. It's trying to explain it to others that's the hard bit.

How can someone be "smart", if they are unintelligible? I will refute any notion of "intelligence" or "smartness" till I die, I suppose.

And well, I guess someone might be wondering how I can be so anti-Christianity/Catholicism when I'm a pretty firm believer in the potential of humanity.

I can't say I've had the worst life, but as with everyone there have been some really really crappy times.

I think my philosophy stems around change. Change is intrinsic to what I feel about people. I suppose change and choice perhaps. One can never be forced to change - it's always of their own choosing. I don't believe that gods, spirits, etc. are capable of change and if they are - why don't people write about that?

I suppose they do, but that's more creation myths. And what, it's usually sprites/animals? I dunno.

Perhaps the concept of change is an exciting one.

Apparently that's called Electro Swing.

Hoping you guys like it too? :P