Revised, redone, redited.

"Redrum, while you're at it."

"Nash's Equilibrium

“Shineba Shinizon, Ikureba Ikidoku (Dying is Loss in Death, Living is Profit in Life.)” - Japanese saying against suicide.

“Discharged on the condition that he continues to take chlorpromazine. Diagnosis: Schizophrenia in remission. I hope he is successful in the future and that further suicide attempts will be curbed, because he is now in a better state of mind.” - Thursday 16th August 1973, Doctor Yagokoro, St. Elizabeth’s Psychiatric Hospital.

She sighed. Another long, hard day, with uncooperative, tense, terse patients. She felt more like a mother, trying to reason, barter, bribe and otherwise control them, than a doctor. Luckily, no major incidents today. After making the journey through the tight, twisted and narrow corridors of the constricting, confining complex, she stepped outside to the smoking area, and took out her lighter. The wind however had other ideas. No matter how hard she tried to get a flame, a flicker, even the merest hint of heat, the cold, water laden wind extinguished it mercilessly. Disgusted with herself and the weather, she threw the cigarette packet into the bin and stormed back inside.

“He is polite and pleasant now, despite being schizophrenic. He denies any claims of being ill; that he WAS ill but has since recovered. We might release him soon on the condition that he continues his medication. It is my strong belief that the anti-psychotic drugs are helping him. Of course, he denies the auditory hallucinations now, but that is due to the drugs. Sustain supervision until further notice, while the chlorpromazine is helping, the dosage may change, if his circumstances and health change even slightly.” - Tuesday 14th August 1973, Doctor Yagokoro, St. Elizabeth’s Psychiatric Hospital .

She frowned, making her way to the commotion surrounding...Daniel, and another patient who was yelling incomprehensibly at him. After administering 3 milligrams of Valium, the other patient calmed down enough to be reasoned with and brought away to their room. Daniel was stunned, but otherwise unaffected. She noticed dark marks around his arms and wrists, which could be cuts, tattoos or burns.

“Overheard a conversation with him and another female patient. His wife left him shortly before he admitted himself into here. Although he smiled while he discussed this, I believe he is holding back his pain so he doesn’t seem impolite. The dark marks could be scars from attempts at self- immolation or self-destructive bloodletting; suicide attempts. Definitely schizophrenia. Fits in with the auditory hallucinations, and now his background fits the diagnosis. Will consult others soon to discuss treatment. Perhaps chlorpromazine for now, but if that doesn’t work well, then the use of perphenazine should be discussed, despite the possible side effects.” - Wednesday 25th July 1973 Doctor Yagokoro, St. Elizabeth’s Psychiatric Hospital.

Despite it having only a single worn bench, the effects of the elements were beginning to show in the weathered woodwork, and a small, solitary sapling to keep it company, the courtyard was comforting, and the thin beam of light through open roof was as pure as the sea. Not the dirty, sickly light inside the hospital. She considered lighting a cigarette for a brief moment, but figured it absurd for a doctor to squander her health while she strived to save others’. After all, it’s not like she needed to lose more weight.

“He has scarred hands, specifically, small cuts on some of the first and base segments of his fingers. Possibly carelessness when handling hand tools, but perhaps something more sinister. However, his background, along with these findings indicates psychosis and schizophrenia as the cause behind the psychosis. The scars may have been intentional, then. Additionally, a lot of time is spent scribbling away at paper, as furtively a squirrel hides his trove. Pathological writing behaviour? Will further scrutiny. “- Friday 13th July 1973, Doctor Yagokoro, St. Elizabeth’s Psychiatric Hospital.

She paced the labyrinth of corridors within the hospital, musing about Daniel. Something was not quite right. She had voiced her opinions with other physicians, but they believed that her diagnosis of psychosis as a result of schizophrenia was correct and that it was foolish to doubt herself. She frowned. Something was wrong, she was certain of it. But what?

“Self-admitted patient with complaints about headaches and auditory hallucinations. Born “Daniel” but prefers to go by the name of “Dan” or “Danny”. Request for solitary living quarters denied due to a lack of rooms. Currently, not a particularly troublesome patient, but will continue observation at a later date.” - Thursday July 5th July 1973 Doctor Yagokoro, St. Elizabeth’s Psychiatric Hospital.

“Once a person is designated abnormal, all of his other behaviours and characteristics are coloured by that label. Indeed, that label is so powerful that many of the pseudopatients’ normal behaviours were overlooked entirely or profoundly misinterpreted.” - The Rosenhan Study: On Being Sane In Insane Places.

Hoping it looks better/reads better, now.